A Better Place A Better Time
by MJRmutation
Summary: When Kate wakes up nursing a heavy hang over, something is off. Can she piece together why Castle is mad at her. Set after 4x10 (cuffed)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So i got this idea while writing the birthday scene of the last chapter of Mostly Memories. Kate wakes up nursing a heavy hang over, and something is off. This will not be fluff, it takes place mid season 4, after episode 10 (cuffed). Rated M for future material. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

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Beckett feels herself wake up but her eye lids refuse to open for a moment. She forces them open a crack and the bright light of the room she is in locks them closed again. She turns over to lay on her back and bring her hand up to her eyes to rub them. Her arm feels abnormally heavy. Once her hand it up to her face, she realizes that her head feels like it's about three times its normal size and still wants to grow. She rubs her eyes slowly to get the flakes out so she can stand to keep them open this time. Opening her eyes, she isn't staring at her ceiling. Come to think of it, this isn't her bed. Much to her bodies own objections, she lifts her self up and supports herself with her arms behind her back, and lets her head fall forward for a minute, before finding the little strength she has to lift it up to survey her surroundings.

This definitely is not her own apartment. She yawns rather strongly, and it isn't until now that she tastes the awful taste that is in her abnormally dry mouth. It almost tastes like sweat, mixed with vodka. She looks at the nightstand to her right and the first thing her eyes land upon is a half full glass of water, she grabs it immediately and starts drinking, leaving the last swig in her mouth to get the moister back. Setting the glass back down, the time is 11 AM.

She groans and puts her head in the cradle of her hands.

"Morning, sweetie." Came a voice she recognized right away, as right away as she could help, as Lanie.

"Lanie?" She asked, and lifted her head up.

The M.E. sauntered into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Where am I?" Kate asked, scratching her head, her hair feels unkempt and tangled.

"Back at my place. How do you feel?" Lanie put the back of her hand to Kate's forehead.

"Like I got hit my a train. What happened last night?" Kate asked, falling back against the pillows.

"I'm not sure. Javier called me about midnight last night and asked me to come pick you up. Something about not wanting to just send you off in a cab alone." Lanie answered, dropping two tablets into a new glass of water and holding out to Kate. "Here, drink this."

"Where did you pick me up?" Kate downed the glass, wishing the effects of the tablets would kick in right away, and not in a half an hour when she had forgotten she at taken them.

"The Old Haunt. Remember? Castle asked you out for a drink after you got off since you didn't have to come in today."

Some memory came prickling in. It was a slow day, at the precinct yesterday. Finishing her paperwork around three o'clock, she stuck around until five, then Castle showed up, and offered to pay for a round or two at the bar. She remembers Esposito and Ryan agreeing, and she decided to go out of pressure, what the hell, she was off tomorrow. She remembers getting to the bar, and starting to drink, but can't remember much after about an hour of getting to the bar.

"I would have brought you back to your place, but I didn't want to leave you alone, considering... what day it was yesterday." Lanie was speaking softly now, almost as if hiding something.

"Why? What day was it?"

"It was February 4th."

February 4th. No wonder she went out drinking, and apparently got so plastered she couldn't get herself home. Her mother's birthday has almost as bad as the anniversary of her actual death. It was suppose to be a day to celebrate life, but instead it just reminded her that there wasn't a life to celebrate, she was gone.

"Uh, do you mind if I take a shower? I feel like I smell." Kate asked, after a long minute of collecting the rest of her thoughts.

"Sure thing, honey. The clothes you came in are in there by the sink. And before you ask, you got dressed all by yourself." Lanie got up and sauntered back out. Kate swung her legs off to the side, and got up, too quickly. She wobbled quite a bit, she must still be a little drunk. Getting her footing, and as much balance as she could muster, she made her way to Lanie's bathroom, bracing herself on the door jam leading to it. Making her way over to the sink, she turned on the water, cupped her hands and ran some down her face, hoping it would wake her up a little bit. She braced herself on the edged of the sink, and looked at herself in the mirror.

She looked awful to say the least. Hair standing up in some places, heavy dark bags under her eyes, left over make-up smugged, skin a little paler than normal. She really needed a shower. She went over to the shower and turned on the water to hot and waited. She went over to her belongings sitting on the counter by the sink and went through them, looking for her phone. Finding it in her pants pocket, she slid it open to check for messages. She had only one, from Castle, reading '_We're done!'._ She checked conversation a little in panic.

_Beckett: Castle, please come back. _

_Castle: Have Espo call you a cab. _

_Beckett: Can't we just talk about this?_

_Castle: No, there's nothing to talk about anymore. _

_Beckett: Please don't do this_

_Castle: We're done! _

Her breath caught in her throat, not getting past the lump that had formed. The worst part of all this was not knowing what had happened. She made quick work of the shower she had forgotten about, only wetting her hair and scrubbing herself with a rag Lanie had hanging up. Drying herself quickly, and throwing her clothes on under shifty footing, she made her way back out to Lanie.

"Lanie, what the hell happened last night?" Kate asked, in a slightly panicked voice.

"I told you, Javi called me and asked me to pick you up and I picked you up." Lani said, not drawing her attention away from her laptop.

"Was Castle there when you picked me up?"

"Uh, no. I don't think so. Weird, considering it is his bar." Lanie closed her laptop and got up. "Why, what's up?"

"I got this text message from him, time says it was a little after 11:30." She handed Lanie her phone to look over the small series of messages.

"Hmm, well, don't worry, girl. Chances are, if you were drunk last night, so was he. You need a ride home?" Lanie asked, giving her phone back.

"Uh, no, I'll just call a cab. Thanks though." Kate said, making her way over to Lanie's front door.

"Well, let me know what happens with writer-boy. And let me know if you need me to beat some sense back into him."

"Thanks Lanie, I will." She felt a little less panicked now, after talking to Lanie. She was probably right, if she was drunk enough to not remember what happened, maybe he was too, although it would help to know what did happen to cause this fall out, if that's what this was.

Waving down a cab, and getting back to her apartment took a while, but after about a half an hour, she was at her door. She searched her person for her keys. She couldn't find them. Weird, considering that she had her wallet, and phone, but not her keys. She didn't have the energy to deal with this right now, so she simply reached to the top of her door jam and grabbed the key that was taped there. She unlocked her door, and went to change out of yesterday's clothes, only after turning on her coffee pot to get some black coffee in her system. She went into her bedroom and removed her shirt, and stopped. Where was it? She lost her mother's ring? No, not that, not on her birthday. Panicked once again, she went scrambling for it, lifting up books, looking in her bathroom, even as much as to look in the drain of her kitchen sink, until she heard a knock on her door. She threw back on her button up shirt, not bothering to button more than three buttons, and went to answer the door.

She got to the door and opened it to find no body there. She poked her head out into the hallway and looked left, looked right, nobody. She grabbed the knob on the outside to close the door again, when the chain of her mothers ring hit her thumb. She looked down and sure enough, was her mother's ring, hanging from the door knob. She took it up and placed it safely around her neck. There was only one person who could have had the fore thought to give this back to her. There was only one person who knew how important this ring was to her. Castle.

She went into the hall way once again, only to find it still empty. She needed to find him. She went back inside and grabbed her phone to call him and hit send. It went to voice mail. "Hey Castle. Look, I don't remember what happened last night, but if you could just call me and we could talk it out, it would be a big help. Thanks."

She went to change into some new clothes, and when she returned there was another knock on her door. She went to answer it once more, giving a slight eye roll as she went, hoping that someone would be there this time. She opened the door and a slight feeling of nervousness overtook her.

"Hey Castle, I just called you, actually. You didn't have to come right over." He wasn't looking at her, he was staring at the floor, looking as if having a battle with himself. "Castle, what is it?" He looked up at her, with cold eyes.

"We have something to talk about."

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**A/N: So yeah, this is going to be a bit angsty. and dramatic. I always love reading angsty fics, its so much less boring than just fluff. Anyway, this is my second attempt at angst, I hope you like it! Let me know by REVIEWING! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This story has gotten the fastest response of any of my other stories. And that's saying something! Please keep them coming, I love hearing your ideas and your thoughts for bettering the story. So please, REVIEW! **

**Anyway Disclaimer: Still not mine, but I have a dream!**

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"We have something to talk about."

The nervousness turned into fear has she tried to hid desperate shivers that were running down her arm. She stepped aside to usher him in, and he walked past her, taking care not to brush her arm on his way in. She clicked the door shut and turned around, but he was still not facing her. She took a few steps forward slowly, but stopped when she heard him suck a deep breath in and let it out.

"What's the last thing you do remember about last night?" He asked, as if he was interrogating her.

"I, uh, the last thing I remember vividly is you going down to your office to grab that old bottle of whiskey you had hidden away. Next thing I remember clearly is waking up at Lanie's." She stated, coming to stand a few feet in front of him with her arms crossed, and her head tilted down in a slight feeling of shame. "Castle, did something happen?"

He clenched his fists into tight balls by his sides, and closed his eyes, almost as if holding back anger. After taking another long breath to calm himself, he started to speak slowly. "We got to The Old Haunt around 6'ish, and we got a few rounds. I knew what day is was yesterday, so I knew that you would need some company, and I thought that a night out with everybody would help you take your mind off of it. It was about 8 that I went down to my office and got the last bottle of whiskey I had. It took us another hour and a half to finish that when this guy came in and started bugging us, and after I got rid of him, you said... something." His face contoured in pain and he turned away.

"What was it?" She asked, frozen in place.

"I've been trying to tell myself that it was the alcohol talking but... the more I think about it..."

Still frozen in place, she didn't register his eyes squeeze shut tighter than they were, and turn towards the door.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." He began to stagger out, the sound of her voice offering no reason to stay any longer.

"Castle, wait!"

The door shut in front of her. She went into the hall way and looked down toward the elevator but it was empty. He must have been running, and taken the stairs. She went back inside and tried his cell phone again, but it went to voice mail. She saw no point in leaving another message, seeing as she didn't know what she would say. She slumped down on her couch. Castle had left more questions than he did answers. Something was off. It's as if he wasn't telling the whole story. What had they been talking about? Where were Ryan and Esposito? What happened with this mysterious guy who Castle said was bugging them. She knew Castle wouldn't talk to her. That much was clear.

She went about a normal routine, taking a real shower, drinking some black coffee to wash the rest of the residual alcohol out of her system, and change into some clean clothes. When she was back in her living room, back on her couch, she grabbed her phone. There were two people that came to mind that she could talk to. She hit speed dial three and waited.

"Hey Beckett, what's up."

"Hey Espo, I need to know something."

"What do you need?"

"I need to know what happened last night."

After an audible sigh, and a brief pause, "You busy for lunch? There is something I gotta tell you."

"Uh, sure. Remy's in an hour?" She asked, checking her watch.

"I'll be there." Espo said, and hung up. She tossed her phone down beside her, and ran her hands down her face. She was hoping this whole thing was Castle just over reacting to what ever it was that happened last night, and she really hoped that Espo could shed some light onto it. She could use some real food in her system, seeing as all she had in her fridge was left over take-out. After a while, and a short nap, she threw on her jacket, and waved down a cab. She still had to find her keys. She walked into Remy's and Ernie pointed her toward the table where Esposito was already seated. She slid in across from her and the first thing her eyes hit was her keys.

"I took them from you last night for safe keeping. Since Lanie was going to take you back to her place I didn't think you'd need your apartment keys." Esposito said, and picked up his mug.

"Yeah, thanks Espo. So, what exactly happened last night? I can't remember much past Castle going down to his office." She said, grabbing her keys and setting them next to her.

He sat back and stared at his mug. "Before I say anything, have you seen Castle today?"

"Yeah, I saw him when I got home about an hour ago. He said that he went down to his office to grab that whiskey that he got last year and then some guy came in and started bugging us and he threw him out."

"Well, not exactly. Castle offered the last of that whiskey he had, and by then, we were all a little buzzed, but you were pretty out of it. By the time the bottle was empty, Castle came over to me and Ryan, and you were at the bar when this guy came in. He was hitting on you pretty hard. But with all of the alcohol in your system, you were kinda, falling for it. Castle stepped in and threw the guy out. You started yelling at him, and next thing I saw was Castle storming out. He sent me a text about ten minutes after that and told me to make sure you got home alright."

"So, wait. Why is it that you remember all of this and I don't?" Kate asked accusingly.

"Beckett, you were pretty out of it. It wasn't until Castle pulled me aside and told me that it was your mother's birthday yesterday that I understood why you went through almost a bottle of vodka in the span of an hour and a half." After Kate stayed silent for a minute, he continued. "Listen, Ryan and I weren't listening to what ever it is you and Castle were fighting about. We both decided there that we weren't going to take sides in something like this. So, by the looks of it, the only person that can help you is Castle."

"What about the guy that came in. What happened with him, exactly?" Beckett asked, as they both paused in their conversation when Ernie came over to them with their usual order.

"Well, Castle was over with us playing pool when he came in. From what I could tell, we had been kicked out of a few bars that night and the haunt just happened to be the next on his list. He sat down next to you and started hitting on you. I knew Castle would be watching you guys, seeing as he isn't exactly good at hiding the way he feels about you with us. When he saw you start to fall for this guy, he stepped in and kicked him to the curb. Next thing I knew, you guys were yelling at each other and Castle was storming out." He picked up his burger and began to eat, leaving her to muse about the story he had just spun for her. He made it sound like Castle was some sort of knight in shining armor.

After finishing off half of her own burger, Kate was about to leave. "Before I leave, did you hear anything either of us said?"

He held up his hands in surrender, one hand clutching the last of his fries. "Like I said, boss, I'm not takin' sides."

"Javi, please?"

He contemplated for a minute, and eventually decided to break a promise that he had made himself. "Alright, look; the only thing I heard was you yell 'I heard you the first time'. That's when Castle ran out. I would have gone after him but, like I said, not taking sides."

The more she uncovered the lost memories of her previous night, the more nightmarish it got. Not only did she down almost a whole bottle of vodka, something she hadn't done since she left Stanford, but it's beginning to sound like she let loose the one secret that had been buried so far beneath everything else, she was beginning to forget it was even there. The last memory of that horrible day, eight months ago. The one secret that she told herself she would deal with when the right time presented itself. The one secret that she had been procrastinating with for quite awhile, but was still significant enough to cause a catastrophic fall out if not handled right, and it seems that she let it loose under the ravings of a drunken lunatic.

They both got up to leave, both offering to pay, with Esposito eventually winning the debate saying that she had enough to deal with, and that lunch was on him this time. She left, leaving most of her lunch untouched, and went to hail a cab. She finally waved one down and gave him the address to Lanie's, and grabbed her phone to let her know that she was on her way back to talk about something that was important.

No time later, Kate was standing outside of Lanie's door and had just knocked.

"Hey there, girl. Back so soon?" Lanie asked, ushering her in.

"Yeah. Listen, I need to tell you something, and you have to promise me that it won't leave this room." The hopeful, yet worried look Kate was displaying said to Lanie that this was a rather serious matter.

"Sure, what is it?" Lanie put a hand on Kate's forearm and motioned her to sit down next to her.

"It's about something that happened when I was shot." Lanie felt a pulse quicken a bit, that day was horrifying for everyone who was there, especially since she was the one who was told to keep pressure on her where the bullet had struck. "You remember when I told you that I didn't remember?" After a confirming nod, she continued, "I lied."

"So, you remember all of it?"

"Yeah, but that's not it." Kate drew a long breath it, and expelled it in a short gasp outward. "When Castle tackled me, I remember him saying 'stay with me, Kate. Stay with me'. I saw the fear in his eyes and once my mind caught up to was was happening, he was saying that he... uh.. that he loved me." She paused to try and wrangle in her composure. "But when he came to the hospital after I woke up, I told that I didn't remember. And I think, that last night, I told him that I do."

"So wait, let me get this straight. When you were shot, Castle finally confessed to you his true feelings, but when you woke up, you said that you didn't remember. But you do remember, and you have been lying to him, and to me for that matter, for the past eight months. And now, you think that you got so drunk last night that you let it slip that you do remember him telling you that he loves you?"

A look of slight disbelief crossed Kate's face. "Well, when you put it that way..."

"I'm sorry, honey, but I think Castle is right to be upset." She stated, crossing her arms.

"You know, Espo said that he and Ryan weren't taking sides." Kate said, in an attempt to defend herself.

"Psh, what do they know." Lanie said, waving her hand in an off direction. "Look, you have to go and talk to Castle yourself. The best thing is to do is to just get it all out there and deal with it."

"But Lanie, you didn't see him this morning. He looked so hurt, he looked so..." Kate got up and started pacing.

"Heartbroken?"

"Yeah." She let her head fall down in shame. She knew she had screwed up, but now she felt that she had to answer for her mistakes.

"It may not be pretty, and it may take a while to work through it, but you have to go talk to him, sweetie. If you don't put this behind you soon, and leave it the way it is now, you may never see each other again. And you may not be ready to admit it yet, but you love him too." Kate snapped her head around toward Lanie, and shot her an astonished look. "Oh please. You know, girl, sometimes you're as transparent as saran wrap."

"Lanie, I could use a little encouragement here."

"Fine," Lanie got up from her seated position and walked over to Kate and placed a friendly hand on her shoulder. "I know that day was hard on you, but it was hard on him too. He had to watch the woman that he loves get shot, and even worse, he had to watch as the man that did it got away. He's hurting now, Kate. The best thing that you can do is to let him know how much he means to you. And to quit standing around here thinking about it! Go!" She waved Kate off walked her to her door.

"Thanks, Lanie."

"I don't want to hear from you again until this thing between you two is fixed, got it?" Lanie sassed. Not waiting for a response, she simply closed the door.

Kate walked back down to the street, and waved down yet another cab. Giving the driver Castle address, the drive took shorter than expected, passing through the slow traffic of two o'clock with ease. Giving the door man a greeting smile, she pressed the respective button in the elevator and waited. When the doors opened, she started down the hall way and soon rounded the corner to his door, each step sending her pulse higher and higher with each click of her heels. She knocked on the door, and waited for Castle to answer the door.

"Kate, darling. Come in." Martha said, waving the glass of wine in the air.

"Thanks Martha, is Castle around?" Kate surveyed the loft, it was quiet for a Saturday afternoon.

"Ah, yes. He should be in his study writing. Go on in, dear." Martha drifted off back into the kitchen and Kate slowly made her way across the living room to the door of his study and opened it, only to find no Castle as the desk. She looked around the room and her gaze was set upon his smartboard that lay against the wall for her right. In the center, a picture of herself, along with a list of too familiar names. She stared at it in denial.

He came in from the bedroom, holding an old Derrik Storm novel, unaware of her presence.

"Castle, what is this?"

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**A/N: I hope you guys like this ending. You can let me know by REVIEWING! :)  
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******A/N(2): So you guys obviously don't know my personal opinion regarding this whole thing. I do think that Castle was a little bit of a wuss when it came to Beckett, espeically in Rise (That's why I wrote Somewhere In The Between), and Ive always felt that I should send him a little bit of a back bone, curtisy of every guy in the Castle Fandom (Such as myself). I love that you guys are telling me to not make Castle cave and go running back to Beckett, begging her for forgivness, but you have to remember, that I know! Any of you who have read my writing before know that i HATE to deal in cliche's, it has been written so many times before, and it makes me feel like im just cutting and pasting, that's why I did this. But you guys have to remember one thing, beckett viewed castle's secret as a betrayal, and i have to treat it as such, no matter how much i may side with Castle on the argument. Anyway, thank you for letting me know your thoughts, it keeps me writing! But still, continue to REVIEW!  
**

******Thanks,**

******-Major! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, this story has gotten the fastest response out of any of my other stories. And it also has gotten the most number of positive reviews, I am even considering writing a sequel to this if I end where i want to. So REVIEW! **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, but i can dream, right?**

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"Castle, what is this?"

Castle looked up from the book he had clutched in his hands and snapped his head up at the unexpected voice. "Beckett? What are you doing here?"

"Castle, what is this?!" Kate made her way over to the board to give it a closer examination. "Is this..."

She began to read the names as they appeared, Captain Roy Montgomery with the word 'Deceased', the same with Detective John Raglan, Hal Lockwood, Detective Gary McAlister, and finally Johanna Beckett. She looked at the image that showed no picture, just a name 'Smith', and traced a line going from it back to her picture. She knew he used this board for plot outlines for his books, but to investigate her own case, and her mothers, behind her back? "You have been looking into it?" The cold expression on his face remained as he set his gaze out to nowhere, and away from her. "You have, haven't you?" He shut his eyes and bent his head down and leaned on his arms against the desk. "Castle, you know how important this case is to me, this is MY case. What makes you think you have to right to investigate it behind my back?"

"I wasn't given a choice." He made no move to change his posture, or even to look at her.

"Wasn't given a choice? What do you mean, by who?" He stayed silent, and after a long pause, Kate pushed forward. "Castle, who have you been talking to?"

He made an audible sigh, and straightened his slumped position. "Guess there's no use hiding it anymore." He walked over to the board and tapped the picture-less icon named 'Smith', and the board came to life once again, and showed a list of bullet points. Only four points were shown, all rather short in length.

_"Smith"_

_-Friend of Roy Montgomery_

_-Connected to man behind everything_

_-Has file containing information on him, send to him by Roy Montgomery_

_-"If she keeps pursuing this, I can't guarrantee her safety."_

She read the bullet points, and the mind of a detective went to work at making sense of them. "He called me after you woke up from surgery. He said that he was a friend of Montgomery's, and that he had information on the man behind all this. He told me that he made a deal with them, that if you kept away from the case, that they'd never touch you again. In return, the information would never come out." She looked back at him while he paced his way behind his desk. "He didn't give me a choice, Kate. He said that if you went after them, or tried to find out who he is, they would kill you. It was either let them kill you again, or steer you away from it and keep you alive."

"Castle, you had a lead to someone who knows the man behind my mother's murder, and you didn't tell me. You lied to me. You said that we would do this together. How could you betray me like this?" She asked, hurt evident in her voice, as she made her way to the other side of the room, trying to put as much distance between him and herself as she could.

"Betray you?" He finally made eye contact with her, but all she saw was a look of utter disbelief. "Betray you? Kate, what was I suppose to tell you? That a mysterious man called me and told me that he had information on the man that killed your mother, and tried to kill you, and that they were going to leave you alone as long as you did the same? This is the reason I didn't tell you about it, Kate. Because if I did, the first thing you would do is start asking questions that will get you killed."

"This case is the most important thing in my life, Castle. You know that." She saw a flash of heartbreak cross his eyes, but he quickly corrected himself.

"You make it sound like this is easy for me. You think that is was easy for me to tell you to back off of this case, when I knew that I had a lead? Kate, as much as I want the guys that shot you brought to justice, you are more important than that. You are more important to me than some stupid vendetta. I know that you want these guys more than anything, but if you can't see the real reason I did this, than maybe you don't know me as well as I thought you did." He sagged down in his office chair in defeat and put his hand up to his eyes to cover them.

She stood frozen for a moment. The more she thought about it, the more admiration she had for her partner. Keeping this information, he wasn't only keeping her safe, but he was putting himself in the line of fire for her also. She choked on her words multiple times before finally finding her voice again, remembering why she came here in the first place. She came here to tell him, everything. "Look, Rick, I know why you held this back from me. I do. I came here to clear the air, once and for all. I was hoping that I would tell you under better circumstances, but even then you would hate me for it." She collected what bravery she could muster, and spoke, trying to shake the wateriness from her voice. "I heard you tell me you loved me that day." He didn't make a motion to respond, so she continued her confession. "I have been lying to you about it."

"Am I that much of a joke to you?" He spat, thrusting himself up from his chair, launching it toward the back wall. "Do you have so little regard for my feelings? Are you really that selfish?"

She knew his questions were rhetorical, but she felt she had to answer them. "I was scared, okay?"

"Oh, so the thought of having somebody love you as deeply as I do scares you now?"

"Castle, can you just let me explain? I know I screwed up." He scoffed and turned away from her again. "When I woke up, I thought that if I told you I didn't remember, it would be easier than if I had told you that I needed more time. I thought that it would be easier for both of us but..."

He cut her off in an angrier voice. "You were wrong, Kate. When I heard you tell me that you heard me the first time, it... it shattered me. Knowing that you could look me in the face after I told you I love you and pretend like I was the annoyance you met four years ago, it broke my heart, Kate."

"I'm sorry, but I was drunk, okay? I didn't mean for you to find out like that."

"But you did mean for me to find out sometime didn't you? When was that exactly? After you'd met someone else? After you'd gotten married to someone else?"

"Castle, after I heard you, I didn't want anyone else. I just wanted you. That's why I broke up with Josh."

"Then why couldn't you tell me then?"

"Because I had to work through my own feelings first, okay? I just needed time."

"You've had eight months, Kate."

"I know, I know. But..." She choked on her words once again. Why was she still having trouble with this? She has rehearsed this in her head over and over again, thinking about how it would come to some romantic climax.

"Kate, if this whole thing is one-sided, then tell me now so I don't have to put myself through any more of this." He said, in a low tone, and came to stand a foot in front of her.

She sank her head down, some how unable to meet his hard gaze. "Castle, I'm not asking you to forgive me for what I've done to you. I know I've hurt you. I want you to know how sorry I am. Your friendship means so much to me, Castle."

"Kate, you either want to be with me or you don't. You don't get to be in between anymore. You've strung me along for too long to have me just keep pining after you. And if after all this time, all you see me as is a friendship, then you're more blind than I thought. You need to make up your mind, Kate. You either trust me, or you don't. You've played with my feelings for the last time, Kate." He walked over to the closed door of his study and pulled it open and stood aside and looked at her. "You need to tell me what's more important to you. Your past," he pointed over to his smart board, "or a future."

He started walking away, toward his bedroom and added, "If you don't know by now, then there's the door." He leaned against his desk with his arms crossed, watching her intently. He watched as she turned around, slowly making her way over to the door. He had to admit to himself that this stung, he thought he meant more to her than that. She put her hand on the side of the door and slide is shut with one, long movement, ending in a soft click, watching her brace herself against it, as she moved one hand down to the knob and click the lock on the knob sideways to lock it.

She turned around, revealing a long wet streak leading down from her eye, with another threatening to spill from her other. He watched, awe struck, as her face lit up in a way he had only seen once before, in the bank after the bomb went up. "Castle, I know it will take time, and I know it will be hard, and I know that we may hurt each other, and I know that I'm not the person to take this kind of leap, but to me," She walked up and placed a hand on his cheek, "you're worth it. I'm sorry I lied to you, Rick."

She began to inch forward, but stopped when he raised his hands up to find purchase on her upper arms, not pushing her away, or pulling her in, just keeping her there. She raised her other hand and placed it on his other cheek to mirror her other. With her breath fanning off of his lips to hit back on her face, with their noses rubbing against each other, she moved forward the half inch it would take to kiss him. Once she felt her lips graze his, he squeezed her arms and spoke in a whisper.

"Stop. Not now." He uttered. He loosened his grip on her arms and slid them down to join her hands. She leaned back enough for his image to come back into focus, and gazed back at him with a worried look. "Tomorrow." He said quickly.

"What?" She asked, not following his train of thought.

"Come on." He stood up, still with her hands in his loose grasp and lead her over to the entrance of his bedroom. "We both have a lot to think about. I don't want to do this with both of us having so much on our minds. Let's just talk about this in the morning, when we have cleared our heads." The honestly in his eyes promised that he would be there in the morning. She kept their eye contact as he lead her over to the left side of the bed and sat down. They both laid back against the pillows, and it wasn't until Kate had turned on her side to place her head against his chest, with her hand over his heart that she was able to relax.

"When you wake up, everything is going to be fine." He said while beginning to run his hand up and down her back, bringing the other to entwine his fingers with hers against his abdomen. "I guarantee that you will wake in a better place, and in a better time."

She buried her head further into his shoulder at the sounds of his words and slowly began to let sleep take her. Even though they were both fully clothed, and it was only 6:30, she was finally comfortable. She let her eyes drift shut against the soft thump of his steady heart under her ear, mouthing under her breath one phrase that she hoped would make everything better.

"I love you, too."

* * *

**A/N: One big mistake I made with Somewhere In The Between, was making kate sound too desperate. I made her sound weak and pathetic. And I hate myself for it! But I really hoped I captured her in a much different light this time, as well as Castle. You can let me know be REVIEWING! **

**And in case you were wondering. I got the last line from a song by a totally awesome band Streetlight Manifesto. I get most of my titles from them, and I claim no ownership of them. Even though the song is about a girl wanting to kill herself after everyone tells her that she will never amount to anything, that one lyric still applys here. Again, let me know what you think! **

**Thanks! **

**-Major :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This story has officially reached the highest number of follows, so i am putting most of my attention to this one. For those of you following my other stories, i am sorry. Updates will come as soon as possible. But as far as this chapter goes: WE ARE OFFICIALLY IN M RATED TERRITORY NOW. hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, i must suck at this :(**

* * *

She stirred herself to a state where she wasn't sure whether or not she was still sleeping. The room was still dark, lighted only momentarily by a hard flash of lightning. Her eyes slugged over to the alarm clock that was sitting, flashing 12:47. With a distant crash of thunder, that was only a low grown by the time it had reached her, she was only half awake. She flexed every muscle she had to stretch, but when she went to arch her back to get feeling back into it, the grip that had been only a feather tightened, keeping her in place. When she relaxed back in place, she became aware of a small breath fanning across the top of her head, tickling the top hairs on her head as they came and went. She wasn't covered up with sheets, but yet she was still warm, relaxed, and secure in the embrace she was wrapped in. The solid figure started to stir behind her, shifting its hips from side to side before coming to rest again, pressed up against her ass a little more firmly than it was before. The figures chest drew in a large breath in, causing it to expand broadly, making cool air rush past the back of her head, and then return it warmly in a long sigh, making her giggle silently to herself. She lifted up her head to unstick her hair from the side of her head, and then put it back to rest where it was, causing the arm she was lying on to flex, making her aware of the large bicep she had been using as a pillow. Still trying to get the fog of sleep to lift, she traced the faint lines in front of her under neath the cover of total darkness down to where it ended, with a large hand, lying limp and lifeless, hanging off the edge of the bed that wasn't hers. She ran her hand along the mattress that was beneath her, both to feel the comforter, and the softness of the bed, both of which were much softer than her own.

The solid mass of muscle behind her let out a small moan, barely there, but loud enough to be audible only to her ear that lay only inches away from the source. The voice that caused it almost sounded like Rick.

"Mmm, Castle." She spoke in a breathy voice, as she let her eyes drift closed again, convincing herself she was dreaming, and needing to get back to it. As the arm that lay across her stomach moved once again to come to rest, with the forearm playing right beneath the start of her breasts, she began to squirm, the hand that lay across her stomach, feeling her abdomen as it raised and deflated as she breathed, coming to dig into the crease that lay between her side and the mattress, causing her back to smash against the figures torso. "Mmm." She moaned again, _this is the best dream I've had in a while._ She let sleep reclaim her as she saw the room light up momentarily once again with a flash of lightning, and another crash of thunder coming shortly after, this one much closer, but it would take more than that to get her to move.

* * *

She rolled onto her back, letting her head's weight shift and roll to the right. She drew a long breath in through her nose, and expelled it the same way. She knew that smell, and it wasn't hers. She smelled this smell when ever she would read Nikki Heat, or when ever she drank the coffee that she was brought every morning. She knew this smell almost as well as she knew who emitted it. The smell of book pages, some how both old and new, the faint smell of uncut wood, waiting to be thrown into a fireplace, with the faint taste of high end cologne that this smell would leave behind.

This smell was Castle's smell. She tossed herself up into a seated position, with her arms throwing caution to the wind behind her hoping they would catch her weight. After the head rush has subsided, and the dizziness had stopped, she surveyed the room. This room she didn't recognize. Dark earth tones outlaying a large space. With two large pictures of an elephant and a lion to her right that made her jump a little bit, she was still asleep a little bit. She continued to scan the room when a picture on the dresser caught her attention. She could make out a large figure embracing a smaller one, the smaller one having, what looked like to be red hair. This almost looked like...

"Castle?" She asked, speaking to no one, and no one responding. She swung her legs out off the edge of the bed and got up to reach for the ceiling and stretch. After making her way across the bed room, she realized that she was barefoot. If last nights memories served, they both went to sleep fully clothed, not bothering to even remove any of their personal effects. She padded her way over to the door to his study to see if he was out there, when she saw her heels that she came in laying side by side, just next to the entrance. She smiled to herself. He must have taken them off in the middle of the night. She heard the click of a door off to the side, and it was enough to catch her attention, and she saw him emerge from a heavy cloud of steam, with one towel wrapped securely around his waist, and the other up to his hair, with him scratching his head relentlessly to get it dry.

He was humming to himself, his attention being kept on the floor. She cleared her throat, mostly to try and get rid of the nervous lump of arousal that seemed to eek up to her throat. "Oh, hey. I didn't think you'd be awake. I didn't... wake you up, did I?" He asked nervously, flinging his other towel to drape across his shoulder. She didn't speak, and he noticed that her attention wasn't directed to his question, or even his face, for that matter. "Oh, let me just uhmm..." He motioned over to his closet with a finger pointed in an off direction.

"No." She yelled involuntarily. He did a quick double take back to her with a look of worry. "I mean, uh, you didn't. Wake me up... I mean." She fumbled to regather her dignity and plunged her hands in her pockets.

"Oh, well, I'm just, uhm, going to go get dressed then." He walked over to his walk in closet, all the while still feeling her gaze on him, which he wasn't sure was predatory or not. Maybe she was just shocked to see him with out a shirt on. He walked in and closed the door behind him, and let out a breath that he just now realized he was holding since she saw her eyes turn to a color he hadn't seen before.

She watched him pad across the floor, and lock himself into his closet. She let out a shuddering breath. She had hoped that the first time she had seen him with out a shirt on, it would be in more of a romantic situation, and that she would actually get to run her hands across his chest, instead of just her eyes, and she had hoped that he wouldn't have taken her dignity into that closet with her. She stood, frozen in place, afraid to move, until he returned to the room, clad in a pair of black, loose fitting pajama pants and a grey T-shirt. She was afraid to meet his gaze, thinking that he would either throw out a sexual innuendo about not being in a towel anymore, one that would be hard to take as a joke at this point, or scold her for looking at him while not having a shirt. She doubted that it would be the latter, but it was still in the back of her mind. _Come on, Kate. This is Castle we are talking about it. He would show up to the precinct naked if society let him, _she thought to herself as she heard him make his way slowly over to her.

"You, um, can use the shower, if you want." He suggested, but when he saw her return to look at him, realizing that it was the first time she had really looked him in the eye since she had woken up, he felt that he may have jumped a line. "I don't mean to say that I want you to take a shower, I mean you don't smell or anything, I just thought that maybe you'd like to take one, seeing as how you slept in your clothes last night. I could wash them for you, if you want. I don't mean to say that I want you to take your clothes off or anything, but I guess you'd have to to take a shower." He felt better locked in the closet where he could trip over his tongue in private.

She interrupted his incessant rambling by taking a step forward, finding it a little hard to peel herself off of the space that she had glued herself to. "Castle. It's alright. Yes, I'd like to take a shower. If you don't mind."

He nodded, "Of course I don't mind, make yourself at home. Feel free to borrow some sweat pants or something."

"Hey, did the power go out last night?" She asked before he left the room.

"Oh, yeah. There was a pretty bad storm last night. I haven't gotten the chance to reset all of the clocks yet though." She nodded and began to make her way over to the bathroom. "Hey," She returned her attention to him leaning into the room. "Do you want some breakfast or something?"

"Sure, I'd like that." She said warmly as he made his way back out of the bed room. She went into the bathroom and closed the door, the last of the steam just coming off of the mirror. She went over to the sink and leaned against it and looked at her reflection and began to talk to it.

"So, it wasn't a dream." She smiled warmly and rolled her eyes to herself. She was actually spooning with Rick Castle, something she had only dreamed about in her wildest, but most calm fantasies. The ones she would have when she would be sitting in her bed back at her own apartment, alone. Or when she would have to pull a long night of stake out and 'rest her eyes'. She used to have to imagine what it would feel like to have his arms wrapped securely around her, desperately keeping her hugged against him. She didn't know what it would feel like, and she thought that she had just had another one of her 'I'm so hot for Castle but sometimes just want him to hug me' dreams. But realizing that her moment of bliss wasn't conjured up by her imagination, but by reality, caused butterflied to erupt into a waging war in her stomach.

After using the toilet, she went over to the glass door of his shower, and opened it. It was a shower fit for a king, or a writer with a big ego. She turned on the water from the controls she eventually found on the outside of the door. The water began to run, and she took a step back. She peeled her top off and tossed it on the toilet seat, unclasped her bra, and did the same. She drew her phone out of her pocket and set it on the counter by the sink. She took off her pants and emptied out their contents onto the sink, setting them all next to her phone, then started to remove her panties. She stopped as she felt a residual slickness. She removed her panties completely and examined the dark blue lace of the underwear. Had simply staring at Richard Castle's naked chest right out of the shower really made her wet? Usually it took more than that. Since when did this man have that much of an effect on her? Her mind thought back to what he had looked like, the soft lines of his muscles playing across his abdomen, and up to his broad shoulders. She let her mind reel for a minute or two before the scent of steam began to fill her senses.

She shook her head to try and shake the haze of arousal, and stepped into the warm stream of the water. Letting the water cascade down her body, and enjoying the rather high pressure that the water had, she ran her hands down her body, still not being able to shake the image of him from her head. She was fighting a battle with self control, and she was losing badly as she began to rub her thighs together, trying to wrangle herself in. She thought back to the kiss they had shared last year. How soft his lips were, how good they tasted, even in the heat of an intense situation, how her heart's pace picked up so quickly and then stopped as he dared to run his tongue across her bottom lip, and how it would feel to have those lips on hers again, tracing a line down her jaw line, across her neck, and behind her ear. To have those lips make their way down her stomach, to have that tongue that she has been craving ever since its journey across her lips dip into her naval, and to have it swirl around her puckered nipples, while the hands that ran through her hair pinched the other.

Her thoughts distracted her from her rebellious hand that had some how made its way down to her center. By the time she had realized it, she was too far gone to stop, and if she was being completely honest with herself, she was enjoying it too much. She soon found herself dipping her fingers into herself, going over a fantasy that she had refined down to the last detail.

_She stood in the break room, making herself a cup of coffee, but some how it never tasted as good as Castle's. She took an unsatisfying sip and poured it down the drain, giving up. She dragged herself back into the empty bullpen. It was late, and everyone else was gone. The only light shown was the one illuminating the murder board. She steadied her gaze down to the floor, not really knowing why she was still her, but pressing on with the case anyway. She grabbed up the file from her desk and went to go study the murder board. _

_"Hey." Came a deep voice. She turned around, and standing in the entrance to the bull pen was Castle, extending out his arm to hold a cup of coffee to her. She smiled warmly at her, and sauntered her way over to him. She took the coffee from him and took a sip, her eyes turning dark and lustful as she held his gaze under the low lighting of the precinct. She let the cup go from her lips and set it down on a desk nearby, along with the file that was in her hand. _

_"Thanks, Rick." She said softly, taking a step forward. _

_"Any time, Kate." He said, even softly. He brought his hands up to her arms, and snaked them around to her back, bringing her flush against his chest. She threw her arms around his neck in immediate response, her eyes flicking back and forth from his dark eyes down to his parted lips. "Is that the only reason you're here? The coffee?" She asked in a husky voice. _

_"No," He said, as he descended his lips down on hers, "I'm here for a story." He spoke against her lips, which were now devouring his in a hot fever of passion. She lifted herself higher, as his hands roamed her back. He backed them up to shove her against the first desk they came upon. His mouth feasted on her neck as he began to tare the shirt off of her, and reluctantly released his lips hold on her to fling it off of her, only to have them dive on her again to make up for the time they were separated from her body. Unclasping her bra, and cupping her breasts in both his hands, she arched into his touch while she divested him of his own shirt, until they were both desperately pulling each other into each others embrace, to revel in the sensation of feeling each others skin against theirs. _

_His hands dips under the hem of her pants and began working at the button to slide them down her legs, all the while, his lips never breaking contact from her skin. He made his way back up her body, his hands roaming every place they could touch. She grabbed the sides of his head and pulled him back up to her already swollen lips to resume the assault of pleasure that had ended too soon. She let out a possessive moan when she felt his hands press her legs open, making her slide forward on the desk she was sitting on. She worked at the buttons of his own jeans and soon thrust them down to the floor, his hard erection bobbing back into place. With a firm grip, she guided him to her already soaked core and he entered her with a hard thrust to..._

"Kate? Everything alright?" He asked loud enough for her to hear him over the roar of the water.

She snapped her eyes open, and a wave of adrenaline and fear raced across her skin. "Yeah, just finishing up!" She lied.

"Well, I set out some sweats for you out here, and there's coffee in the kitchen when you're ready. Take your time." She leaned back against the wall. Had her fantasy of Richard Castle making love to her against a random desk in the precinct just been interrupted by... Richard Castle? She got down to scrubbing herself, and washing her hair with what hair products he had. She scrubbed herself a second time, hoping that the strong scent from the body wash he had would mask the scent of her arousal. She turned off the water and grabbed a towel off of the wrack and dried herself with it. She poked her head out of the bathroom to make sure she was alone, and spotted a pair of grey sweatpants and a blue T-shirt, laying just outside the door. She grabbed them and put them on. She then collected her own clothes and folded them up, hiding both her bra and panties in between her shirt and her pants, hoping that he wouldn't find them, given that he would actually go looking for them.

She walked into kitchen to find him standing in front of the stove making pancakes. "Hey, I hope pancakes is alright. I didn't have enough eggs."

"Pancakes is fine, Castle." She sat down in a stool in front of the cup of coffee that was sitting there steaming. She clasped it, and brought it up to her lips and took a short sip, letting the liquid warm the middle of her chest. "This may sound weird, but does Alexis have a hair tie?"

"Oh, here." He said, opening up a draw and tossing one to her. She let it land on the island next to her cup of coffee and she looked back up at him with some what of a concerned look, enough of a look to draw his attention back to her. "What? I live with two women, one of which is a teenager, and the other, well... you've met my mother."

She pulled her hair into a low pony tail and picked up her coffee again to take another sip. "Where are they, anyway?" She asked looking around the expanse of the loft.

"Alexis is staying over at a friends house, and mother just kind of comes and goes as she pleases. It's sort of a 'don't ask, don't tell' kind of thing with her." He said, putting a stack of pancakes in front of her. Putting a fork and knife in front of her, and going to get the butter along with the syrup, she felt tension start to rise. She didn't exactly arrive at his loft on a good note, yet here she was, after sleeping in his bed, wrapped in his arms, showering in his shower, now wearing his clothes, drinking his coffee, and about to eat his pancakes.

"Castle, about last night..."

He set the condiments down in front of her and let out a sigh. "Listen, I won't blame you if want more time. I can't deny that a lot of things have happened in the past 48 hours. But I'll always be here, when you want to talk about it. Whether that's now, or a week from now."

"No, I want to talk about it." She put her hand on top of his that rested on the counter. "Castle, I want to give this a shot... with you. And the sooner we talk about things, and get them resolved, the sooner we can try and put it all behind us."

He looked down at her hand resting on top of his own and smiled, then entwined their fingers together. "You know I'm not one to dwell too much on the past. But Kate, can you promise me one thing?"

"What's that?" She asked, hopping down from her stool to stand in front of him and smile lovingly up at him and wrap her arms around his mid section.

"The next time I tell you I love you, try not to pass out." He said, wrapping his arms behind her back and bringing her closer.

"I won't." She said. As they held each others gaze, letting the glimmer in one another's eyes dance, she lifted herself up on her tip toes and kissed him lazily. This kiss wasn't hot, or passionate, or heated, or frenzied, it was a promise. A promise that, yes, it would take time to work everything between them out, and to get to a place where they could put it all behind them, but as long as they are there for one another, they would come through it stronger...

_Always._

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**A/N: I am NOT ending it there, in case you were wondering. This story has too much potential to just end like that. I think if i did end it here, i would get a lot of hate mail. I just felt that this would be a good place to end it. This was a long chapter tho. I hope you enjoy reading it! You can let me know if you enjoyed it be REVIEWING! Good or bad, it lets me know that you are reading it all the way through, and it helps me to tweak my writing to make me a better writer. **

**I would like to thank all of you guys for giving me the most successful fanfic i have written so far. 181 follows so far and counting! Thanks you guys, You rock! **

**-Major :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

As they lazily kissed, savoring the feeling of one anothers lips moving slowly across their own, they let the world slip by unchecked. They let each other go with a wet pop, and lent back. After gazing into the depths of each other, Kate tightened her squeeze on his mid section and brought her ear up flush with his chest, the absence of her heels providing a reasonable and rather noticeable gap in their height.

He rested his cheek on the top of her head, and took in her scent. After using his soap, and wearing his clothes, she still smelled like cherries. _How is that even possible, _he thought to himself. They untangled each other from the grip that they were reluctant to release. "So, you off today?" He asked.

"Yeah. After that whole handcuffing thing, Gates gave me a three day weekend." She sat back down on her stool in front of her untouched breakfast and began to put butter on her pancakes.

"Well, it's still pretty early. Are you in a rush to get back to your place, or anything?" He asked shyly, picking up the pan and setting it in the sink.

"No, why?" She said, popping another piece of pancake in her mouth.

"I just thought that we could hang around for a while. You know, just... talk."

"I'd like that." She said honestly, and quickly finished the stack of pancakes. After the dishes had been put into the sink to deal with later, Castle invited her over to sit next to him on the couch. She cuddled into his side and let his arm drape over her shoulders. "So, Castle, what really happened at the Old Haunt?"

"It's not important anymore, Kate." He said, obviously trying to avoid the subject.

"No, tell me. If we avoid things like this, then they will just keep springing up. So please, tell me what happened."

"Okay." He kissed the side of her head and began to regale the tale from the beginning.

"I went down to the precinct and offered you guys a round or two at the Old Haunt. You were reluctant to accept, but if you remember, I talked you into it." She remembers alright, she remembers the honestly his eyes held when he said that it would take her mind off of 'everything'. "We got to the bar and I called for a round for you guys, Ryan and Esposito went over and started to play pool, and you and I sat down at the bar and talked for a while, mostly about nothing, then I went down to get that bottle of whiskey to share with you guys, and we got through it pretty quickly, there wasn't much left. After it was gone, you ordered a shot of vodka, and I didn't say anything, I thought that I would just let you cut loose for once. After you asked Jimmy to just leave the bottle, I pulled him aside and just told him to put it all on my tab, then Espo tried to say something, but I pulled him aside and told him that it was your mother's birthday, and it was better you being there with us than alone, at your apartment drowning yourself if vodka, and he understood. It was about eleven that this guy can staggering in. I recognized him. He would come in, already drunk, and start bugging other people. He saw you sitting at the bar. I was over with Espo and Ryan for a rematch when he started hitting on you. I didn't really pay any real attention at first, until you started to flirt back. I didn't want you doing anything you'd regret in the morning, so I stepped in, and told him to leave. You were pretty upset at me for barging in the way I did. You said it was your life and that you could live it the way you wanted. I told you that you were drunk and I didn't want you to make a mistake. Then you said, uhmm, that just because I told you that I loved you doesn't mean that we were together, that you didn't need me to spell it out for you. I won't lie, it crushed me to hear you say that. I asked you if you really heard me, and you said yes. Your exact word were 'I know you said you love me but that doesn't mean we are together. God, I heard you the first time'. That's when I ran out."

She looked up at him and saw his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "God, I'm so sorry, Castle."

He shook his head and pulled her closer to him. "Hey, it's okay."

"No, Castle, it's not okay. I really hurt you. You were just trying to protect me from sleeping with some sceezy bar hopper, and I yelled at you for it." She said, untangling herself from his grasp to look into his eyes.

"Kate, you were drunk. You had half a bottle of 100 year old scotch, and almost a whole bottle of vodka in your system. Give yourself a little slack. I was honestly surprised you were still standing."

"That's still no excuse, Castle."

"Hey, listen, I know that you didn't mean for me to find out like that. I'm not holding it against you."

She wished he had yelled at her again. She felt horrible. Her days of sleeping with random bar hoppers were far, _far_, behind her. "When I got back to my place, my mother's ring was missing."

"Yeah, I went back to the bar in the morning because I left my wallet there and found it on the floor. I knew how much that ring meant to you, so I picked it up and hung it on your door. I may have been heartbroken, but as little sense as it made, I still wanted to make you happy. So I knocked and ran off. That's when you called me, and left a message. I listened to your voice mail, purely out of curiosity, and went back after you said that you didn't remember what had happened."

"Well, thank you, Castle. That was really sweet." She leaned back over and kissed him on the cheek.

After a minute of letting the silence build up to a level where one of them felt they should say something, Castle broke the silence with a serious sounding question. "Why'd you lie to me, Kate?"

She paused to reflect for a minute, and Castle thought that she wasn't going to answer his question. "When I was shot, and you tackled me, it all happened so fast. The only thing I could think of was to ask myself if I had really just been shot, or if it was some horrible nightmare that I tried to wake myself up from. The only thing I remember feeling is this heavy weight on my chest, and your grasp on my shoulders. I tried to talk to you, but I couldn't breath. It wasn't until I woke up from surgery that I had time to process everything. When you came by, I thought that if I told you that I didn't remember your confession, that we could just go back to where we were, before everything had happened. But then after I got discharged, Josh told me that he didn't want me seeing you anymore, he blamed you for everything, and I snapped at him, and told him to get out of my life. My dad offered me his cabin, so I went and it gave me a chance to think. I actually, uh, wrote to you."

"You did? I don't remember getting anything." Castle interjected.

"That's because I didn't send it." She said, crossing around the couch to her purse where she had set her purse down the night before. She unzipped it, and dug around in it for a moment before she unzipped a pocket inside to take out another piece of paper, crumpled, and folded up. She crossed back over to him and handed it to him. "Here, I think it's about time you read it."

"Are you sure?" Castle asked in a small voice.

"Yes."

He took the small piece of paper from her hand, gently unfolded it, all the while keeping her gaze, and started to read it. Her hand writing was shaky, and small, the ink blurred in some places where it looked like tears had fallen onto the page.

_Dear Castle, _

_It's cold here. As hard as I try, I can't shake the shivering that I get every time I try and think about this. My dad has tried to help, and I know his heart is in the right place, but he doesn't understand. The weight is still there, sometimes it's hard to breath, I wake up some nights wheezing and gasping for air. It's been two months months since I saw you last. I have tried calling you, but every time I try, the weight comes back and it all comes rushing back, the shot, feeling you tackling me, you holding me, and pleading with me. I hear your voice in my sleep sometimes, it's calming, soothing, reassuring. It's the one thing that seems to calm me down nowadays, and it's been too long since I've heard your voice. I had my dad buy Heat Rises yesterday, and I read it all last night. I would read it, imagining it was you reading it to me. _

_I know I told you I don't remember anything from after I got shot, but the truth is, if it wasn't for you, I'm certain I'd be dead. You gave me a will to live, Castle. I still replay your words in my head. I hear you tell me you love me, and I feel the weight lift. But then I remember telling you that I didn't hear you, and it comes back. Part of me wishes I could go back, and take it back, and work through it, but I need to get my feet back under me first. I know it will be hard, to come back and pretend like it never happened. But if I go back now and tell you how I really feel, with me still being broken, with my mothers case still looming over me, I know I won't be able to open myself up completely to you, and I want to be able to do that. I would never forgive myself if I jumped head first into a relationship with you, only to have it end with me being sucked back into this case. _

_I want to close this case, Castle. But now, I feel like my purpose has changed. What used to drive me feels like it's holding me back. Now I find myself striving for something else. Now, I want to close this case so I can get on with my life, so I can start being who I really want to be with out any burdens holding me down, so I can have a relationship that will last forever and be some one who can bring joy and happiness into someones life. I want to close this case so I can be with you. _

_I'm headed back to the city in a couple of weeks. Part of me is dreading seeing you again, knowing that I've hid from you, knowing that I will be lying to you, and part of me is just telling me to cut and run. But I don't want to live my life by that part of me anymore. I want to live my life listening to the part of me that is telling me to just go to you and tell you how much I love you, and I hope that eventually, I will be at a place in my life where I can do that. And that won't happen until I put this case to rest, and I want you by my side while I do it. _

_In the mean time, the only thing I can do is hope that, somehow, you see past this wall that I have built, and see that I really do love you, that you really are the best partner I could have asked for, even though I didn't ask for you. I want to be able to do this on my own, but I also want you to help me. I want to stand on my own two feet, but I also want you to be the one holding me up. I want to be able to face this with out fear, but I also want you to be the one telling me that I have nothing to be afraid of. _

_Just know that I love you, Rick, and that I'm doing this for us. _

_-Kate_

He folded the letter back up, and placed it on the coffee table in front of him. She watched him intently as a soft expression formed on his face. He looked back at her with unbridled love in his eyes. "You never had to do it alone."

"I know, but I wanted to so I could jump into this with out any... baggage."

"Kate, we all have baggage we carry with us. And it's not about having no burdens weighing you down to be with someone, but letting them carry them with you." He cupped her jaw and brought her gently to his lips to meet in a loving kiss. They separated and Kate laid her head back on his shoulder, her arm draped over his stomach.

"What did I do to deserve you?" She asked as she snuggled closer to him. He let the complementing question go unanswered as he placed another kiss atop of her head and replaced his cheek on top of her head.

As they lay there, he thought about how they were now. Her mothers case, and her own case still loomed over both of them, still taunted them relentlessly, but if they believed they could do this, then he wasn't going to let the weight that she had put on this case crush her anymore. He was going to help her carry it, he was going to hold her own when her footing faltered, and reassure her that she had nothing to be afraid of, even when she was staring evil in the face.

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**A/N: Officially hit 200 followers last night! I would like to thank you all for reading, and reviewing. I would be lying if i said that this hasn't given me confidence. I originally started writing fanfiction out of frustration with some other peoples work. I am a pretty picky person when it comes to story telling. and it just seemed that everybody was writing cliches, and I could always tell where and when and how it was going to end with most stories. I hope that my writing stands out a little bit, among the endless series of one-shots, post-eps, and other stories.  
**

**I just want to thank you all again for reading my work, and reviewing, and telling me to keep going. It gives me something to do. And it makes me feel like someone actually wants to hear what I have to say. So thank you all. You guys rock! **

**-Major :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter is pretty long, and almost all of it is good ol' fashion caskett sex. So if you are against reading smut, then I suggest you just skip this chapter all together. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

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It was still early by the time Castle and Becket finally decided to untangle themselves from each other, the streetlights still illuminating most of the street, the beginning of the light from the out of sight sun glowed a dark blue, casting the streets a shimmering black, from the storm the previous night.

"So, you want to stick around a bit longer? We could watch a movie or something." Castle offered.

"As much as I'd like to, I'd better get back to my place, get a change of clothes. But I'll tell you what; why don't you come by after Alexis gets back, and then we can go to lunch after a while or something." She said, walking her fingers up his chest.

"Do you, uhmm..."

"Do I what?" She asked, bringing her fingers to a halt and pressing her hand flush with his chest.

"Alexis, do you want me to tell her about.." He motioned between them.

"Oh, uh, if you want." She brushed it off.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know you might think that I will shout it from the roof tops, but if you want me to keep this between us than I will."

"Listen, why don't we wait a bit. Let this," she motioned between them, "sink in a bit before we go shouting from the roof tops or anything, okay?"

"Okay." He responded, and pulled her in for a quick kiss before she turned around and headed towards his bedroom to get dressed in her own clothes. She soon stripped off her borrowed clothes and slipped on her own, some what ignoring the dampness from her episode this morning. It was only 6:45 by the time she was walking out of his study and almost on her way out.

"So, when do you expect Alexis back?" She asked, slipping her phone back into her pocket after checking her messages.

"When she left yesterday, she said around 7:30 or 8." He said, coming to stand between her and the door way.

"Okay, so should I expect you around 8:30 or 9?" She asked, making her way over to the door anyway, and instead coming to stand in from of him with her arms crossed.

"I'll be there." He said, letting her walk around him and towards the door. She opened the door and turned around, and stood idle in the doorway, looking at him with a warm smile on her face. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a lazy kiss on her lips, and let her slip out of his grasp. As she reluctantly walked down the hallway and got into the elevator, she let her thoughts run wild. Where was the passion? She half expected him to slam her up against that door and have his way with her. But instead, it was nothing more than a lazily placed kiss, that only had her aching for more. As she waved down a cab, she contemplated called Lanie. She had said to let it sit, but something was worrying her, and she needed help. And as far as she could tell, Lanie had kept quiet about the conversation that took place yesterday afternoon. After getting back to her own apartment, and changing clothes, she picked up her phone and hit speed dial four.

"Hey, girl." Lanie came across the other line, sounded a little too chipper.

"Hey Lanie. Look, I need to ask you something. But it has to stay between us."

"Okay, shoot."

"Promise this is between us?" Kate asked, once more to emphasize.

"I promise, now what it is?"

"Castle and I are kind of..." She let the sentence fall, not knowing how to define what ever it is they were doing.

"You two are together now?" Lanie asked, in a surprised voice.

"Kind of, yeah." Kate replied, shyly.

"What do you mean 'kind of'?"

"Well, I went over to his place after you and I talked, and we hashed things out. But then I tried to kiss him, and he said that we had a lot to think about and then he showed me to his bed and told me that we would talk about it in the morning."

"Hang on a minute. You two slept together, but you didn't _sleep_ together?"

"Yeah. Then he let me use his shower, he let me borrow some clothes, he made me breakfast, then we just talked. I just got home."

"So, what's the problem. Sounds like you had a nice night."

"He won't... he just isn't..."

"Making a move?" Lanie finished for her.

"Exactly. I mean, he's been after me for three and a half years now, but now that we are finally on the same page, he's acting all shy. I mean, when he kissed me, it was sweet, and warm, but there wasn't any passion."

"I think I know the problem."

"You do?"

"When you two talked this morning, how was he?"

"He was really understanding, he was sweet, he was great, Lanie. He wasn't angry or mad at all."

"Yeah, I think I know the problem." Lanie said, coming to a conclusion.

"And what is that?"

"He's scared." Lanie said, as a matter of fact-ly.

"Scared? Of what?"

"Of saying something stupid, or doing something wrong. He's been after you for close to four years now, but now that he finally has you, he's probably afraid that if he screws up, even once, you will leave."

"That's ridiculous."

"It may be, but he doesn't know that."

"Okay, so what do I do?"

"You may not like it." Lanie said, almost jokingly.

"What is it?"

"You have to show him that you are here to stay."

"And how do I do that?" Kate asked, not following Lanie's train of thought.

"Please, girl, do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Lanie, we just got together, isn't that a little fast?"

"It would be fast if you two had just met and gone out for coffee. But you two have been bantering back and fourth for years now, and both of you have been denying an obvious attraction to each other, so no. If I was you, I'd be bouncing off the walls."

"Lanie, exactly, how will having sex solve anything?"

"Geez, you make it sound like knocking boots with Castle is a bad thing. Look, if he's scared that if he says or does one wrong thing, that you are going to run off, than he thinks that you might not be in this as much as he is. But, if you show him that you are in this completely, then he won't be scared anymore, and he will know that you are going to stick around. Make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess it does."

"See? Aren't you glad you called?"

"Remember Lanie, this stays between us."

"Girl, you know who you're talking to?" Lanie, sassed.

"Yes, that's why I'm reminding you."

"Just go do what I told you."

"Alright, bye Lanie." She said, laughing as she hung up the phone and tossed it aside. What Lanie said had actually made a lot of sense. But Castle has always been known to her as this confident, egotistical, always touching things man who almost never takes no for an answer. So, if he's been after her for all this time, why is he shying away now? What if he was afraid of losing her? What if he thinks that she will cut and run at the first sight of a pot whole in the road? He was in this completely, that much she knew, he loved her. But now, she needed to show him that she loved him. If Castle has his finger in the dam to keep it from breaking, than it looks like she has to be the one to pull it out.

Changing into a thin, grey t-shirt, and some blue jeans, she quickly let her hair down and ran a brush through it, and only put the essentials of make up on. After making a pot of coffee, re-making her bed, and straightening up a bit, she soon killed an hour. Right as she checked the clock on the wall, there was a knock on the door. She steadied herself, and opened the door, to find him fiddling nervously with the buttons on his suit jacket.

"Hey." She said, brightly.

"Hey there. So, I didn't mention us to Alexis." He said, passing her on his way in.

"Oh, okay." She said simply. She did feel a little guilty about talking to Lanie about this, and slightly embarrassed, but if her insight and advice held true, she may have saved this relationship. "You want some coffee? I just made it." She offered, closing the door and heading towards the kitchen.

"Ah, no thanks. I had some on my way here." He said, not moving from his spot. "So, uhm, did you sleep well last night?"

"Castle..." She said, coming around the counter and making her way towards him.

"Oh, I did wake you up, didn't I?" He asked, accusing himself.

"Castle."

"Was it because I took off your heels when I woke up? I just didn't want you falling over or anything." He said, a slight edge of panic coming into his voice.

"Castle!" She shouted as she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and thrust him against the wall, making the picture frames jump from their place. She looked into his fear filled eyes, and pressed her lower half against him. "I know what you're doing." She said, in a low voice.

"Uh, you do?"

She hummed a response and brought her forearms to press against him. "Castle, we have been waiting for too long. And as of," She looked over to the clock once more, "three and a half hours ago, I'm tired of waiting." She said, lowering her voice even more.

"Kate, don't you think we..." He was cut off when she thrust forward and brought her lips hard against his and pulled on his lapels to bring him closer.

"No, I don't." She said, as she pulled back quickly, only to return with more force.

His hands that were hanging in mid-air, afraid to move, soon made their way to her waist, unable to fight the urge for more physical contact any longer. As he gripped her hips, and ran his thumbs back and forth, he pulled her towards him. When pulling on his lapels wasn't enough, she soon snaked her arms around his neck and pulled herself up to him. As the kiss deepened more and more, Castle felt his control start to slip. His resolve was starting to fade and his passion for this women began to ignite as her tongue ran along the bottom edge of his lips. He pressed against her hips momentarily, but hard enough for her to be forced back a few inches. As her eyes came back into focus, she saw his eyes were closed, lips swollen, and hair a little ruffled in the back where she had been running her hands.

"Kate, if we do this..." He said, opening his hazy eyes, "There's no going back."

She placed a hand in the middle of his chest, right over his heart, which she could feel thundering, and spoke right above a whisper. "I know."

"Are you sure? Because I don't think I could go back to where we were now." He said, arching his eye brows in a worried look.

"I'm sh..." She was cut off as his hands tightened on her hips and pulled her up to his lips. She replaced her hands around his neck and began to fist his hair. The kiss deepened more as his tongue dared to trace a path across her lips, and when it was immediately granted access to her mouth, their tongues began to clash in a battle that both were happily losing. Kate let loose a moan, bringing Castle back to the night where he had first tasted from this oasis. He took this as a sign to continue, and he listened. He glided his hands to her back, keeping one hand pressed against the small of her back, pressing her abdomen against his, and his other between her shoulder blades, pressing her chest firmly against his. When he let his lips break the contact they had with her own, he moved to start forging a trail down her jaw line, each kiss he placed forcing her to expose her neck more and more the further down he went. When he reached the base of her jaw, he placed both hands on her sides, and turned them.

Letting her body act on instinct, she let her body go almost limp in his hands as he turned her to shove her against the wall. The only other sound that could be heard over their ragged breathing, was the sound of a picture frame falling from it's place next to them, and clattering against the ground, with a loud crack of glass. After a possessive moan, Castle spoke against the skin behind her ear, the vibrations of his timber voice sending shivers down her weak legs. "Sorry, I'll pay for that." He said breathlessly.

"Don't worry about it." She responded, letting an 'Oh god' go voiceless at the end of her response.

She began to claw at the back of his jacket, wanting it off of him, but still unwilling to let him relent in the barrage his hands were going on against her body. As she dug her fingers in around the back of the collar, he began to shift and shrug against her until it could be dropped off of him with a quick throw back of his shoulders.

With his jacket now on the floor, he started to play with the hem of her shirt, as he returned to her mouth, when she placed both hands on the sides of his face, his slight 5 o'clock shadow serving as traction and pulling him forcefully against her already swollen lips. When he dipped his thumbs under the thin fabric of her top, her skin felt hot against his touch. He moved his hands under her shirt and around to her back, her arching into him making it easier to move about. He drew the fabric up, uncovering her stomach, then uncovering her breasts, still hidden beneath a black lace bra. As she drew one leg up to hook around his, he grabbed the other and hooked it around for her and pressed his lower half, taking her weight between him and the wall with very little effort. She threw her arms up over her head and, taking the opportunity, he tossed the shirt off, and began to run his mouth along her collar bone, taking note how her body quaked when he kissed the low spot on the left side of her neck.

"As much fun, oh, as this would be, I think we need... to take this... into my bedroom." She said, as she balled her hands into fists against his hair.

"I said I would pay for the picture frame." The vibration, once again, sending light shivers down her back.

"As long as you take off your shirt, you can pay for anything else you break." She said playfully.

He laughed fully right as he was making his way back up to her ear. He took a step back, letting her take her weight back and gripping her waist again as she faltered in her footing when she got down. "Don't you think that you should be the one taking off my shirt? Seeing as I took off yours?"

Her eyes turned dark and predatory as an evil smile made its way onto her flushed face. "Not if you want it back in one piece." She scrunched the material of his white dress shirt in her hands as she pushed him down the hall way to her bed room. When the door flung open she threw herself against him and he landed heavily against the bed. With her now straddling him, and their lips still connected in a hot frenzy of feverish passion, she started with the top button and then began to fumble with the second.

"This is the only shirt I brought with me, so if you need me to do it, then let me..."

"Just, let me do it. Why does this stupid thing have so many buttons anyway?" She asked rhetorically as she sat up to focus better on divesting him of his shirt.

"Don't worry, it will be worth the trouble." He said, still trying to get his breathing back under his own control. When the last button was finally undone, she flung the shirt open and gazed down at him with hungry eyes. She ran her hands down his chest, pressing her hands more firmly the lower they traveled. "I can go take a shower again if you want." He said, recognizing that look from this morning. When she laughed, and her mouth upturned into a smile, he began to sit up. "Yeah, I'm going to go take a shower real quick."

She pressed hard against his shoulders and eyes him intently as she hovered a few inches from his face. "Don't even think about it." He leaned up to capture her lips and sat up to let his shirt fall off of his shoulders, then throw it out from under him to land some where across the room. Bracing himself with one arm behind him, he slowly moved his free hand from the front of her stomach, to the middle of her back. When he felt the strap of her bra, he began to work his magic and take care of her bra. But when he began to fumble and play with the back of the strap, he groaned out of frustration. After too long of a moment, he broke the kiss.

"Seriously?" When she giggled, he continued, more than a little embarrassed. "I swear, this has never happened to me before." She grabbed his hand from behind her and moved it to the front and placed his fingers to where the bra met in the front. When he realized what she was doing he looked back at her with a smirk on his face. "You cheater."

"Just get it off, Castle." She said in a husky voice. With her bra unsnapped, he tossed it across the room to land on top of his shirt. He pressed up with one leg to turn them over, and she was soon on her back, with her hair fanning out across the bed. Bracing himself on his forearm, he took her left breast fully in his hand and began to kneed in time with the rhythm of his mouth.

She let her hands roam over his back, tracing a line in the dip his spine created, and then pulled him against her, to bring his weight more fully against her. "I realized something, Kate." He said as he moved down to capture her other breast in his mouth. When she began to squirm under him as he began to tease her puckered nipple with his teeth, she found her voice, as breathless and ragged as it may be.

"What's that?"

"We're both still wearing pants." He spoke against her breast, causing his hot breath to fan across it to make her arch into the touch of his mouth.

"Fix it." She demanded.

He lowered himself and unbuttoned her pants and slowly slid the zipper down. When her own hands came down to shove her pants down, figuring that she could get it done faster, he took over for her when they were out of reach of her. She began to kick lightly as they reached her ankles. It wasn't until he began to plant hot kisses up her leg that she realized that he had taken her panties with him, and she was now laying before him completely naked. As he kissed the inside of her thigh, she opened her legs to silently invite him in.

With the heat radiating off of her, and his hot breath hitting her core, Castle felt a slight feeling of trepidation creep up, until he looked up at her, and her glittering eyes stomped out the doubts that had manifested. He let his eyes drift shut as he descended on her. Feeling her legs tremble beneath the grip of his fingers, began to tease her clit with his mouth, sucking it slightly into his mouth before flicking it with his tongue. As the bed springs creaked with her arching her back off the bed, she grabbed his hair to pull his mouth tighter against her.

"Oh, god." She spoke, in a high voice, that almost resembled a squeak, as her other hand scrunched the sheets. "Castle, get up here." She spoke, ecstasy dripping from her voice. With a light pop, he let her clit go from his mouth and made his way to hover over her. "I want this to last, so you need to stop."

"Stop what?" He asked innocently. As he ran his hand down her stomach, getting lower and lower the more her eyes fluttered.

"You know what." She said breathlessly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said as he let his fingers come to rest, hovering just about her moistened center.

"Liar." She said with upturned lips.

"Oh, this?" He asked as he slipped two fingers inside of her and let her breast mash against him when she arched her back once more.

"Castle, I need you..."

"Need me to what?" He asked in a low voice against her ear, which was now clutched in between his teeth.

"To get inside me." She didn't have the patience to sugar coat it anymore.

"But I still have my pants on." He was surprised when she shoved against his left shoulder and straddled him and began to quickly unfasten his belt and undo his tightly tented pants. As she began to shove them down, he pressed his hips up to assist her, and he was soon kicking frantically to get them off, and kicking off his shows in the process. When he got resettled, she placed her entrance right above his throbbing erection, and lowered herself onto him, sinking slowly down. With a low moan coming from the bottom of his throat, he gripped the sheets tightly. When she raised herself back up, she sunk down again, harder this time.

She was incredible, he really had no idea.

He moved his hands to slide up her thighs and then up to grip her hips. He ran his hands up her back and brought her down to bring her chest flush with his, her breasts pressed into him as their lips met in an open mouthed kiss. When he flipped them over again, he pressed deeply into her, this new angel allowing him the ability to sink even deeper. When she flung her arms under his to grip his shoulders, he pulled almost all the way out, and thrust harder into her, getting a yelp in return. As he repeat this gesture, the pace was slow, and judging by the way her hips would return a little quicker in response each time, he gradually increased the pace.

"Oh, god, Rick. Faster, please." She pleaded. The tone in her voice was almost enough to send him off the edge, alone. As he began to increase the pace of his thrusts, her ankles hooked around the small of his ass, and her nails dug into his shoulders. She felt it coming, and it was going to get here quick, and hard. With a few quick thrusts, her orgasm came at her with a force she didn't know was possible. As stars began to fly across her closed eyes, she wrapped her arms around his back tightly, the slick layer of sweat letting them slip across his skin easily.

With her inner walls clutching him ever so tightly, and getting tighter as she let her panting stop for a minute, he thrust once, twice, three times more, breaking the tempo they had set, his body stiffened as he felt his own orgasm overtake him.

Letting the last of his breath out in a shudder, he began panting with her as they rode out their highs together. She let her hand fall from where it was laying draped across his shoulders, to the ruffled bedsheets. Both still breathing heavy, he pulled back to look into her hooded eyes. "We should have done that four years ago."

As she laughed over trying to catch her breath, they laid there, not wanting to separate. Maybe Lanie was right after all; he wasn't scared anymore.

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**A/N: Wow, pretty long. Anyway, the last sex scene I wrote for my other stories, Ive always felt they've all been a little too serious. I mean, this relationship was built on banter, and I'd like to think that in Always, their night together was spent in a frenzy of passion, but also making quick witted jokes, and just being them. I really hope you liked this chapter, because i spent about 4 hours revising it, thus the delay. You can let me know by REVIEWING! **

**Thank you all for your continued support! :)**

**-Major. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I really liked the response I got from the last chapter. And for those of you saying that kate was hypocritical last chapter, I did that on purpose ;) I have a reason for pretty much everything i write. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, im not a monster :(**

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It was an hour before either one was willing to move from the position they found themselves in after they had finished making love, with her head resting peacefully on his shoulder with his arm draped across her back, and her fingers tracing imaginary patterns on his chest. With a blissful hum that made his chest resonate beneath her ear, Castle spoke.

"You know, as many dreams as I've had, I never imagined that it would be that great." He said, while tracing pictures in the plaster of her ceiling.

"You've dreamed about it?" She asked, shooting her head up to look at him.

"Yeah, haven't you?" He shot quickly.

"I..." She let her sentence fall.

"You have, haven't you." He finished, smiling down at her. When she broke his stare and replaced her head, he continued. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." He offered.

"No." She said, hoping to end the discussion.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun. Maybe one day I could..." He feather touched his way down from the top of her shoulder down her arm, "fulfill it one day."

"I don't want to mess up my desk though." She said, lightly, completely aware of the fact that she had just divulged her fantasy. With a large and comical gasp of air inward, Castle sat up on his elbow letting her fall back against the pillow, seeing a slight smirk on her face.

"No way, the precinct? Tell me about it." He said, waggling his eye brows. When he was once again met with silence, he pressed on. "Oh come on, you've obviously thought about this quite a bit. So what? Do I just come strutting in, swing you around from the murder board, dip you and start making out with you against your desk? Or is it more of a... I've been handcuffed to your chair situation?"

"Castle, it's my fantasy, not yours. Speaking of which, since you figured out mine..." She looked up at him with a face telling him to spill it.

"Let's just say it involves you, me... and a spaceship." He said looking of into space. When he was met with a weird look, "What? It's fantasy, and if I want to make love to you in the escape pod of a spaceship, then I can dream all I want."

She lent up and kissed him lovingly, letting her lips linger over his as it ended. They returned to their position they found themselves in for the past hour, and both were content to simply lay there the rest of the day.

"So, what do you want to do today? Get some lunch maybe?"

"Oh crap!" She sat up quickly. "What time is it?" She asked frantically.

"It's just after 10, why? What's wrong?"

"I was suppose to meet my dad for brunch this morning. How could I have forgotten?" She scolded herself. She jumped out of bed and walked to the foot of the bed to grab her pants, and threw his on the bed toward him before picking her's up. She twirled around the room and Castle was eyeing her intently, greatly admiring the way her bare breasts would sway slightly as she turned around. "Where'd you throw my bra?" She asked as she was going over to get it. She snapped it on, and began looking around for her shirt. Getting a little frustrated with herself, Castle decided to remind her the timeline of things.

"Kate," She snapped around to look at him, sitting it bed on his elbow, with that typical smirk on his face. "Hall way, remember?" She blushed as she walked out to pick it up. She came back holding her phone.

"Hey Dad. Yeah, sorry I'm late. I got caught up with Castle. Do you still want to have brunch?" He watched as a surprised look came onto her face. "Oh, uh, yeah sure. I don't think he's doing anything." She said as she look over at him. He shook his head to answer her comment. "Okay, we'll be there in a half an hour then. Love you too, Dad." She hung up the phone and slipped it back into her pocket.

"So, what was that about?" He asked, sitting up and grabbing his pants that she had tossed to him.

"He wanted to know if you wanted to join us for brunch." She tossed him his shirt from across the room.

"Oh." He said off offhandedly as he threw his shirt around his shoulders.

"Do you not want to?" She asked worriedly.

"No, I'd love to. It's just..."

"What?"

"Can I ask something of you?" He asked as she came to stand in the space his legs were creating when he went to sit back down.

"Anything." She responded, putting her forearms on his shoulders.

"When we tell our family's about us, we do it together."

"Oh, uh..." A hesitant look came across her face.

"Kate, it was hard enough keeping this from Alexis this morning. I haven't kept anything from her since the dirty bomb case when I sent her and mother to the Hampton's. I want you to be there when I do tell her. And I'd like to be there when you tell your father."

After an audible sigh, she tugged on his hands and brought him up to stand. "We'll tell him at brunch." A warm smile came to adorn her face and his hands came to rest on her waist.

"Okay. Then I guess it's a good time to tell you that Alexis planned on making dinner tonight, and she asked me if you'd like to come."

"Castle, I..."

"Together, Kate." He cut her off, tugging on her waist bringing her closer to him.

"Okay, we'll tell her... together. Now come on, we're going to be late."

* * *

They walked into the dinner to find Jim Beckett sitting in a booth in the middle of the restaurant, pouring sugar into a mug of coffee. He glanced up to see his daughter and her partner walking in, one following close behind the other. He got up to give his daughter a hug and greet her. They separated and Jim took a step back to find Castle close, his head turned downward, not wanting to intrude on a family moment. "Nice to see you again, Rick. It's been too long."

"Yeah, too long. Nice to see you again too, Jim." Castle said, extending a hand to him and shook firmly.

"Again?" Kate asked, casting a confused look toward Castle.

"Uhm..." Castle stuttered, not really knowing what to say that wouldn't get him in trouble.

"The hospital, sweetie." Jim answered for her as Castle shot him a look, silently asking him why he had lied to his daughter. He was met with a look that told him that they'd talk about it.

"Oh, yeah." She said, completely forgetting that they met each other at the hospital.

Castle stepped behind Kate to help her out of her coat, but Kate just cast a glance behind her, silently asking him what he was doing.

"I'm nothing if I'm not chivalrous." After a scoff and a slight eye-roll, he tossed her coat toward the back of the booth, and let her sit down first, and slumping down next to her.

"So, how've you two been?" Jim asked, lifting his mug.

"We've been good." Kate answered casually.

"That's good to hear."

They talked idle chit chat until their orders came, and was silent until Kate excused herself from the table. Castle took this opportunity to ask a question that has been eating at him since they had arrived.

"Sir, can I ask you something?" After Jim turned his attention to Castle, telling him that he had his attention. "Why didn't you tell her about..."

"I think the same reason you didn't." After the look of intent turned to a look of confusion, Jim continued. "Look, son, I came to you that night because I knew that you're the only person she would really listen to. She knows that, but that doesn't mean that she likes to hear it."

"Yeah, I guess I understand. She can be a little hard headed at times."

"Let me tell you something, Rick." Castle looked up from his distorted reflection in his mug to Jim. "Before Johanna passed, Katie was such a different person. She was so care free, so happy-go-lucky, so ready to take the world by storm, so much like her mother. But after, she changed. I've always felt as if my daughter got taken from me too. She closed herself off, from everything... even me. She got sucked into the darkness that the world has to offer, and she lost herself in it. After I got sober, I tried my best to bring her back, but she just..." Jim looked over to the counter where he saw his daughter just coming out of the bathroom, a light, content smile on her face, as she stopped at the counter to ask for the check. "It wasn't until these past few years that I've gotten to see my little girl again. You bring out the best in her, Rick."

"Thank you, sir. She makes me want to be a better man." Castle said, gazing over at Kate, who was just rounding the last corner to stand next to Castle, poking him in the shoulder to ask for her seat back. He got up and she reclaimed her seat, as he sat next to her, close enough this time to let their legs touch. He felt Kate's hand come across his leg, in search of his. As she entwined their fingers together, Kate looked up at him with a glimmer in her eyes that told him that now was the time.

"Dad, we wanted to tell you something." She said, feeling him lightly squeeze her fingers between his.

"And what's that?" Jim asked, taking quick note that both of their eyes were fixed on one point underneath the table.

"Something happened recently, and we felt that you should hear it from the both of us." She didn't let her eyes leave their entwined hands.

"Kate..." Castle spoke softly. She looked up at him as he gave a smile and sideways nod toward her father.

She lifted their entwined hands and set them on the table. All stares went upon the set of hands now sitting entwined on the table, with Castle's thumb gently running itself across hers.

"Does this mean..." Jim asked.

"Yeah, Dad. We're together." She confirmed and let her gaze return to Castle's who returned it lovingly.

"Wish I could say I'm surprised." Kate chuckled to herself. "Do you mind me asking what happened?"

"Let's just say we found ourselves in a situation where we had to make a decision, and we decided." Kate said, hoping her father wouldn't dig for more information. She really didn't want to tell him that she got drunk and told Castle that she heard him say that he loved her when she was shot, and then found out that... yeah, he didn't need to know.

"Well, I'm happy you were able to open your eyes, Katie."

They talked idly more for another few minutes, before they got up, Castle offering Kate her coat, and Jim deciding that he would pay, no questions asked. When they stood on the side walk outside, Jim extended a hand toward Castle and, once again, shook firmly. "Take care of her, Rick."

"You can count on me, sir."

Jim embraces his daughter in a hug and spoke in her ear. "Hold on to him, Katie."

"I will, Dad." He kissed her cheek and stepped into the awaiting cab and pulled off.

With Castle's attention still on the retreating headlights, the sound of her harsh voice drew his attention immediately. "So why'd you guys lie to me?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" He asked, frightfully.

"In there, he said that you guys met at the hospital when I was shot. Why'd you guys lie to me?" She demanded, with her arms crossed.

"We didn't lie, Kate."

"Castle, I'm a homicide detective. It's my job to tell when people are lying. So, when did you guys really meet?"

"Okay, look, it was a couple days before you got shot, when Lockwood escaped. I was sitting at home and he came by to talk."

"About what?"

"About what you were up against. He just wanted to know how dangerous he was."

"So, why didn't he just ask me?"

"Because he wanted me to talk you out of going after him. He knew you wouldn't listen to him, and he figured the only person you would listen to is me. Trust me, Kate, sometimes I wish the first time I had met him was at the hospital."

"What do you mean?"

"Because I had to look him in the eye and tell him that I failed." Finally, the hurt and failure that he had been trying to suppress won out. His face fell, and she came up to him and placed a hand on his upper arm and began to rub it.

"I'm sorry. I, uh... I didn't know." She said. He brought his arms up to wrap around her waist and bring her closer, letting her head sit under his chin.

"I know he doesn't blame me but, at the time, I wish he had." He began to step back and grab her hand and walk down the street, with her following, not really caring that she didn't know where they were headed, mainly because he probably didn't either.

"Why is that?"

"Because then it wouldn't have been just me."

"Castle, none of it was your fault. You should know that by now."

"Oh trust me, Kate, I deserve some of the blame." She stopped him with two hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at her.

"No, you don't! No one is to blame but the guy behind that rifle, okay?" When he wouldn't look up from the ground, she prodded further, hoping to get a response this time. "Okay?"

"You know, as much as I wanted to put that dam boyfriend of yours on the ground, sometimes I still think he was right."

"Castle, please don't get me started on Josh. You want to know what he told me after you left that day? He told me, and I'm quoting, 'I forbid you to see him, he has no place in your life'. You want to know what I said?" This time, she waited for him to meet her eyes again.

"What's that?"

"I said no. That you were the one good thing in my life that I could always count on." He brought her in for another hug, and then she spoke in a brighter tone. "He didn't, come to see you, did he?"

"No, why?" He asked, in a confused voice.

"Oh, he told me he was going to beat you up. I knew he was just blowing smoke, but I was still a little scared."

"Kate, if I can beat the snot out of a trained killer like Hal Lockwood, then that puffed up leather-faced pretty boy shouldn't have been a problem."

They both let out a light chuckle and strolled down the street, hands entwined, until they hailed a cab back to the loft. They arrived back at Castle around two in the afternoon, after getting side tracked by a passing book store. When they entered, they found Alexis sitting in front of the counter, with a text book open.

"Hey sweetie. You're doing homework on a Sunday?" He asked her as he came around the counter to stand on the other side.

"Yeah, so?" Alexis asked, not drawing her attention away from her book.

"You're only taking one class. There can't be that much."

"It's theoretical physics, Dad. It's not exactly learning my ABC's."

"I know, but can't you at least take a break? Besides, Kate and I were going to watch a movie until dinner."

"Oh, Detective Beckett is here?" Alexis finally looked up to find Beckett standing just by the door, rocking back and forth on her heels, looking a bit awkward. "Hi, Detective Beckett." She said, a hint of confusion on her voice.

"You can call me Kate, Alexis. Besides, I don't even have my badge on me." Kate informed, coming to stand next to Castle in the kitchen.

"So, what do you say we go put on a movie, and after a while, I can help you with dinner." He said, drawing his daughters attention back to him.

"Sure, I take it you're joining us then, Det... Kate?" Alexis corrected herself, closing her textbook, and putting it back into her backpack on the back of her chair.

"Yeah, I'd love to."

They moved into the living room and Castle went over to the shelf to skim through his movie titles. Humming as he went through, he stopped and took one out.

"I've got just which one." He said, waving the case in his hand as he went over to the TV to pop the disk in.

"Aren't you going to tell us what it is, Dad?" Alexis said, plopping herself down in the far corner of the couch.

"It's this new movie I picked up a while ago, just never got around to watching. It's called Slither."

Kate sat down on the far end opposite of Alexis, and Castle sat in the middle. Alexis leaned over to lay her head on his shoulder, but Castle was sneaking his hand over to Kate's side to join hers. Kate reluctantly accepted his gesture, and went about watching the movie, joking about how bad the lead characters accent was. Before long, Alexis was up getting things out for dinner, and Castle helping, with Kate sitting awkwardly at the counter, just quietly observing.

"Hey, have you seen grams today?" Castle asked, as he picked up a jar of Alfredo sauce and fruitlessly tried to pry it open.

"Yeah, I saw her around 10, said that she was going to be home around 4 or 5. Something about needing to do something at her studio. She did say she would be home for dinner though." Alexis said, coming to take the jar from him and twist it open with very little effort. Kate looked back at Castle, who had a mischievous smile on his face, and winked.

As dinner became more prepared, and the table was set, Martha came floating through the door, just as the pasta was set down.

"Hello, Darlings. Sorry I'm late. I got caught up in something." Martha said, coming to give Alexis a kiss on the cheek. "Why, hello, Detective. I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon." Martha came to sit next to her at the counter and pat her on the hand.

"Oh, well, you know..." Kate began to stutter.

"Oh, don't be silly. You are always welcome here, dear. You're practically family."

Castle smiled over at them warmly, but as he looked over at Alexis, she looked distant, maybe she wasn't paying attention. They all sat down at the table, with Alexis and Martha on one side, and Castle and Beckett on the other.

"This looks great, Alexis." Kate said, taking in the meal she had prepared.

"Thank you." She said, giving a half hearted smile. The meal went on with very little conversation taking place. Half way through, Castle grabbed Kate's hand from under the table, and gave it a familiar squeeze. She met his eyes, and it was the same look he had given her this morning in the diner. It was time to tell them. Only, this time would be different. She knew her father would be happy for them, as little conversation that took place during her summer away at his cabin, the one thing he knew was that she missed her partner. And finding out that he had come to him before everything started to spin out of control, to tell Castle to try and talk her out of everything, only told her that her father knew how much Castle seemed to influence her life now.

But now, she didn't know what to expect.

"So, Kate and I wanted to tell you something, and we figured it would be best you guys hear it from the both of us." Castle returned his stare to Kate, and she felt a blush rush up her neck. "Kate and I... we are... uhm..."

"We're dating." Kate spoke in a full voice, after Castle couldn't find his.

"May I be excused please?" Alexis said coldly, getting up, not waiting for permission. She galloped up stairs, not stopping to look back.

"Alexis." Castle said sternly. After hearing the closing of her door, louder than it should have been, he looked back at Kate and found her with a shocked expression on her face.

"Maybe I should go." Kate said, putting her napkin back on the table and getting up.

"No, just let me go talk to her. Please," He leaned in closer, to avoid his mother hearing this. "I feel stronger when you're around anyway."

"Okay." She said softly and sat back down in her chair as she watched Castle go upstairs.

"Don't worry, dear, she'll come around." Martha said, getting up to refill her wine glass.

"Thanks Martha." She said, unconvincingly.

"Can I let you in on a little secret?" Martha asked, coming to sit in the seat Castle had just left. "Richard may not like me telling you this but, I think it will help you through this situation."

"What is it, Martha?"

"Well, Darling. For the past few years, I've watched that son of mine chase after you. Now, I know he's been chasing after women for longer than he'll admit but you want to know how I knew you were different?" After a pause, so see the curiosity rise in Kate, she continued. "He talked to me about it. Believe it or not, when he was going through both of his divorces, he never talked to me about it, or asked for motherly advice, but with you, well he just wouldn't shut up about you."

Kate felt a blush start to rise again and she was forced to break eye contact.

"Now, I've seen the ups and downs of your partnership, and I can tell you this much, dear; That boy heart belongs to you, darling." Martha placed a hand on top of Kate's and smiled warmly at her before patting it with her other and getting up to float upstairs and into her room.

If she was telling herself the truth for once, she would already know that. But then again, her head had denied that her heart had belonged to him for quite a while now. But she had told herself, and him, that she didn't want to live by that side of her anymore. She wanted to live by the side that was right now telling her to stay, and work this out, not the side that was telling her to run out that door and never look back. The side she wanted to live by was telling her to go up and talk to Alexis herself, but the other side was telling her that she was upset for good reason.

But for once, she wasn't going to listen to that side of her.

* * *

**A/N: This isn't the place I had originally planned to leave off at, but I will continue where I wanted to with the next chapter.**

**I also hope you guys review this. Especially the scene with Jim in it. I had to watch both knockout and after hours, just so I could get the dialogue right. He isn't that 3 domentional of a character, so I didn't have much to go on, but I hope you liked him! anyway REVIEW! **

**Again, thanks for your guy's support on this story! **

**-Major**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: To whomever wrote that after reading the AN at the end of the last chapter, they couldn't take me seriously" **

**"When someone calls you childish, you should take it as a compliment." ~Stana Katic. ;)**

**One more of a direct note, i loved that you guys liked Jim in the last chapter. I did feel like I caught what little of his character we have seen. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, what am i doing wrong?**

* * *

Rick walked up the stairs, and up to his daughter's closed bedroom door. He knocked before entering, not waiting for her permission to enter.

"Alexis, what was that about?" He said, coming in to find her with her legs curled up to her chest.

"Dad, I don't want to talk about it." She said, softly.

"Well, I do. What's going on?"

"Never mind."

"No, not 'never mind'. Come on, talk to me." He urged, coming to sit on the edge of her bed, next to her.

"Why don't you go talk to your girlfriend." Alexis said, in a typical teenage fashion.

"Alexis." He warned.

"I'm sorry, Dad, but this just seems wrong." She said, jumping off the bed and quickly pacing her way across her room.

"Why is that?"

"You're a writer, Dad! You're not a cop, okay! We've had this discussion before, remember?"

"Yes, I do remember, and I told you then what I'm telling you now. She makes me happy." He said, in a calm voice, much unlike his daughters.

"So that means you have to date her? You were held up in a bank last week, what will you have to do when you propose to her? Get yourself shot?!"

"Alexis..." He was cut off by a soft knock on the slightly ajar door, with Kate poking her head in nervously.

"Hey, Castle, could you give us a minute?" Kate asked softly, coming to stand just inside with her hands folded in front of her, looking quite calm and collected.

"Kate..."

"It's alright, Castle, just a minute?"

He nodded at her and made his way past her, putting a soothing hand on her upper arm as he went, more for himself than it was for her, but feeling hers on top of his when he placed it there said that she knew what he meant. "Hey Alexis." Kate greeted, in a friendly tone. Alexis just stood there, her stare locked onto something conveniently away from her, with her arms crossed, and a some what blank look on her face. "Look, I'm not going to force you to listen to me, but I am going to ask if you understand me when I tell you why I want to be with your dad."

After a pause, Alexis finally made eye contact. "But first, can you tell me why you don't want us to be together?" Looking away, and tightening the pout she was wearing, Alexis refused to budge from her silence. "Look, Alexis, I can tell you one thing I've learned from my time with your dad, and that's silence never gets you anywhere."

Alexis looked back and began to speak, a little softly than expected. "He's given up a lot for you, you know. I had to watch him, last summer, lock himself in his office for days on end. Sometimes, I wouldn't see him for two or three days until Dr. Parrish would call and tell me he was still at the precinct, sitting in front of the same files he had been staring at for months. You think it was easy for me to watch my dad jump in front of a snipers bullet for a girl who would just repay him by running off, with out even so much as a thank you? I was just starting to get him back to his normal self, then you waltz right back in. He has put his life on the line for you so many times, and I'm sure there are more he's not telling me about, so tell me, what have you done?"

Her voice which had started out just above a whisper, now grew to an accusing, harsh, and cold tone that showed nothing but disdain. Kate didn't know what to expect when she had decided to come and talk to Alexis, but she had hoped that it would be a light conversation, with a moment where she would admit her undying love for this girl's father. But instead, it had turned into this 19 year old girl pretty much tearing her a new one. Her last question, most of all, had gotten to Kate. What _had _she done? The more she flipped through the memories of the last four years during the silence that had built between Alexis and herself, the more she saw how badly she had treated Castle. He didn't really have to keep coming back, Alexis was right about one thing; he was a writer, not a cop. This time, she had to be honest with herself, and with the girl standing just a few feet away.

"I can't answer that. I'm not the right person to ask." Kate said, in a low, nervous tone.

"Why not?" Alexis said, cocking her hips to the side and crossing her arms.

"Alexis, I'm going to tell you something in confidence. You don't have to believe me, but just hear me out. For the past years, your dad has been following me around. I can't tell you exactly when it happened, but at some point, we started to fall for each other. The only difference is I was determined to push him away, when he was determined to pull me in. Some part of me knew I was in love with him, but I wouldn't let myself see it, until I was lying on the ground with a bullet in my chest, until I thought it was already too late. After my mother was murdered, I was a disaster, I was so broken, and after a while, I told myself I wouldn't feel that way ever again, but to do that, I needed to shut myself out, from everything. That went on for about 10 years, no one was ever stubborn enough to keep at it, until he showed up. He was..."

"Why do you love him." Alexis cut her off.

"What?" Kate asked, still going through her speech in her head, not hearing the whole question.

"I want to know why you love him. Not what he has done for you, or why you want him around. I want to know why you love him."

"I love him because he makes me laugh when there's nothing to laugh about. I love him because he makes me smile during the most awful times of my life. I love him because despite all of the masks I'm wearing, no matter all of the barriers I put up, he can see past them to the real me, and for the first time in my life, he's the first one not to run away when he does see the real me. I just... I love him."

Alexis uncrossed her arms and looked Kate directly in the eye when she had told her that she loved her father, seeing the wateriness that Kate was trying to fight back in her eyes, told her that Kate was truly in love with her father. And she knew one thing for sure, Kate Beckett made her father happy.

"I need you to promise me something." Alexis said, after a minute of contemplation.

"What is that?" Kate asked curiously.

"Don't hold back. If you're going to be with him, then you need to be all or nothing. If my dad is going to open his heart up to you, he deserves nothing less than yours."

"I promise."

Kate felt an uncomfortable wave of anxiety wash over her. Maybe it was just admitting this to his daughter. It was easy enough to promise this to yourself, then when you broke it, the only person you had to face, was you. But now, if she didn't live up to her promise, she would have some one else to answer to.

"There's something you need to know about my dad. He's a hopeless romantic, to a fault. He will give you the world, and all you have to do is ask. If you break his heart, it won't be like before, where you could just go back to where you were after a few months apart. So, if I were you, I'd put my all into this, because if you do break his heart, I will know. You gave me your word that you love my dad, and I'm taking you on it."

Kate stood up, and gave a small smile. "Thank you, Alexis." They weren't on the best of terms, but she would try her best to live up to her word. Kate walked out slowly, shutting the door behind her, and let out a long breath, ran a hand through her hair and walked back down stairs, coming to find Castle sitting at the counter, twiddling his thumbs, he looked up at her and sprang up and quickly made his way over to her. "Hey, how'd it go?"

"It's better now. She's on board."

"Really? What did you say?"

"She just wanted to make sure that we were doing this for the right reason, that's all. I don't blame her, I'd do the same thing if my dad ever considered dating again."

He brought his hands up and began to rub small circles on her upper arms with his thumbs. "You're amazing, you know that?"

She answered by running her hands up his chest and come to bind behind his neck and pull herself closer to him, making him instinctively wrap his strong arms around her, resting his cheek against the side of her head. They started to sway together to music that wasn't there. They stayed in this comfortable position until Kate unbound her hands and placed them on his shoulders, urging him back. "I'd better go, it's getting kind of late."

"You don't have to leave. Why not stay here again, tonight?" He asked, excitement rising in his voice.

"I'll tell you what, why don't you give me a call in the morning, and we can go out to breakfast. I just need some time to think, that's all."

"Why does that not give me a good feeling?" He asked, not letting her out of his grasp.

She leaned up and kissed him softly, but passionately enough to reassure him. "Don't worry. You'll hear from me in the morning, I promise. Then we can go out to breakfast, then you can take me back to my place and you can read to me."

"Oh really? Do I have a choice in the matter?" He asked, throwing on a smirk.

"Of course you do. You can choose what accent you use for the voices." She joked.

"That doesn't sound like much of a choice."

"Well, if it changes your mind at all, you're going to be reading your work to me."

"Really?" He asked, childish excitement pouring out of his expression.

"Yeah." She leaned up to his ear and whispered seductively. "There are a few pages I want to act out."

Castle watched her stalk away from him with a teasing smile, her bottom lip slipping into her teeths grasp. She placed a hand on the knob, after grabbing her bag, and opened the door. "I'll see you in the morning." She said before closing the door in front of him. He let out a small, content, sigh as he watched her go. He had dreamed about being like this with her, being open, voicing all of the romantic thoughts that formed in his head, pulling her small frame into his embrace just because, to be able to kiss her again, with out having to come up with an on-a-whim plan to do it, but he didn't think it would make him this happy.

He walked into his office, and saw his phone light up with a text message from her.

_Don't worry, you'll wake up in a better place, and a better time. See you in the morning. ;) _

With the words he had whispered to her to sooth her when she had first come to him just a night ago, he texted back a quick 'You too', and went to bed, only to have her penetrate his dreams, once again. He was afraid at first, when this all started. He did feel as if he had given her an ultimatum and she had just gone with him because it seemed like a better option, and he felt a little guilty at first, feeling as if he was walking in a mine field, and if he said the wrong thing, or pushed her too far to open up, she would cut and run, like she had before. But knowing that she was in this completely, that she had found something else to strive for, to live for, and knowing that it was him, made him sure that she wasn't running.

After all, she loved him.

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**A/N: Not as long as I would have liked, but i needed to end it there, because if I had extended it, then I would have had to go into certain parts to make everything make sense, and it would have been really REALLY long, I want to make this last, so I cut it short. Sorry for the delay, I just had to revise the conversation between alexis and kate for the billionth time. **

**And again, for anyone who says they can't read my writing because of the Authors notes, that after reading them you can't take me seriously, just remember. "When some one calls you childish, you should take it as a compliment." ~Stana Katic ;) **

**-Major :) **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. There is one part in this story Im not entirely sure about. You'll know it when you see it.  
**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

Kate woke up, clutching the pillow he was using in her arms, scrunching it in her grasp. The mere hour he spent using it when he was with her in her bed, with is arms wrapped safely around her, was enough to leave his scent behind, and it was a welcome change from her own. She drifted out of her dazed state, and took in a deep breath, with Castle's scent being the first real thing to awaken her scenes. She smiled brightly, subconsciously recognizing the scent as that of her lovers and wished it was him she was grasping, and not merely his pillow. She lifted her head up enough to look at her clock and saw that it was just after eight o'clock. Sitting herself up, she stretched out her arms, and let them fall heavy against the bed. Her gaze fell upon the space next to her, and once again, she wished she had to fight to get him to release her from the death grip she wished he had her in. She swung her legs out and grabbed her phone and unlocked it, checking for messages. There were quite a few.

_7:15 Castle: You up yet? _

_7:33 Castle: How bout now? :( _

_7:47 Castle: Don't make me come down there *wages finger* _

_8:02 Castle: Okay, now you're starting to worry me..._

She quickly sent a reply, hoping she caught this message in time to stifle his panic attack.

_8:13 Beckett: Sorry, I'm up. Phone was on silent since I'm off today. Still want to meet for breakfast? _

Castle's reply came almost instantly. Something about him pacing back and forth in his office, nervously biting his thumb nail, waiting for his phone to chime again, made her giggle.

_Castle: Absolutely! How bout the cafe near where I get us coffee? _

_Beckett: Sounds great. See you there at 9? _

_Castle: With bells and whistles ;) _

She rolled her eyes at the last text and got up, hopping in the shower, and changing into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, going for her pair of Adidas, rather than her usual stilettos, it was her day off, after all. Heading out the door with still 15 minutes to spare, she hailed a cab and made her way to the cafe they had agreed upon.

* * *

Castle sprang up from his sleep, it had been awhile since he had had that dream, not since he was kicked out of the precinct over the summer. Looking over at the clock on the nightstand, it was almost seven. Running a hand through his hair, he got up and slugged his way into the bathroom. Coming out, searching for his phone, he came across it, still sitting idle on his desk. He unlocked it, but hesitated when he came to where he was ready to shoot Kate a text. It was her day off, and he did not want to be the one to wake her up, begging to come see her after a short 8 hour separation, so he waited. After getting coffee started and checking the rest of his email, he finally gave into temptation and sent her a short text message, expecting a some what angry text back, because he woke her up on her day off, after all, he knew for a fact that her body had been trained to awake at the lightest beep. When he didn't get an instant reply back, he figured maybe she was in the shower, or wasn't near her phone. But when another 10 minutes passed, he came to the conclusion that she was still asleep. So he sent another text, this time she would reply for sure. Nothing.

Maybe she was just trying to tease him a little by not answering, so he decided to go with the usual comic relief routine. When that didn't work, after another fifteen minutes, he shot another text, worrying something had happened to her. But his nervous pacing was shut down when his phone chimed in a reply from her, and the tingling fear that had been trying to creep out was suppressed. He grabbed his phone quickly and read the message. Wanting to see her as soon as... now, he was glad that she still wanted to head out for breakfast. Already speed walking toward the hall closet to grab his sports coat, he sent a usual comic relief reply and headed out to get a good head start, he had somethings to do.

* * *

She hopped out of the cab that brought her, and into the bright morning sun, the sky a bright blue. She crossed the street with a quick jog, and walked down the street to the cafe they planned to meet at. She looked through the window of the corner cafe, but didn't see him inside. She walked around the corner, and saw him slumped back in a chair outside, with his foot perched up on his knee, looking quite relaxed and blissful, squinting his eyes against the bright glow of the sun. She started to put a little more saunter in her step as she strode toward him, and he caught her gaze when a bright smile appeared on her face.

He pushed himself out of his chair and she began to bounce toward him into his embrace. Sharing a hug, he kissed her as she leaned back, savoring the taste of her lips. He was doomed if a messily eight hours apart would cause this kind of feeling.

She pulled out her chair as he began to sit back down but quickly held out his hand to stop her when she started to sit.

"Wait, wait, there's uh..." He said, pointing toward the seat of the chair.

She looked down and there sit a bouquet of orange lilies. She picked them up, and a bright smile returned to her face as she held them up to her face to inhale their fragrance. "They're beautiful, Castle." She sat down, setting the flowers next to her on the table.

"I figured since this is kind of our first real date, I'd start it off right." He said, leaning back into his chair.

"We're just having breakfast, Castle. It's not like we're at a five star restaurant."

"That may be, but, we are out, together, as a couple, having a meal. So, by simple definition, we are on a date."

She smiled as a waiter came up next to them and asked for their drink orders, with Kate asking for her usual sugar free vanilla latte, and him just a plane black coffee.

"So, tell me, is there a reason why you didn't stay over at the loft last night?" He asked, hoping it would sound like a light question.

She stuttered at first, but soon found her verbal footing. "Well, with what went on, with Alexis and all, I didn't want to over stay my welcome or anything, that's all."

"Kate, you're always welcome. Besides, I think Alexis is old enough, and smart enough, to know how I feel about you. She has seen me with enough women to know that this is different."

"Yeah, I know. It just would have felt weird is all." Kate said, smiling at the waiter who had just brought them their orders.

"Yeah, I understand."

"So, you want to head back to my place when we're done?" She asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Sure, I just need to make a stop first."

"Oh, okay. Where?"

"I just need to make a quick stop by Black Pawn and pick up something up."

"... and that would be?"

"A surprise." He said with a mischievous smile.

They finished their breakfast, once in a while glancing across to find the other quickly looking away as if they weren't staring. Getting up, Castle hailed a cab and gave the driver the address to Black Pawn publishing. He hopped out and told the driver to wait a minute, and ran inside. Five minutes later, just coming off of his phone, he ran back to the door and got back in, clutching a tan envelope. She glanced down, as he set the envelope beside him in the cab, and gave him the address to her apartment.

"That's what we stopped for?" Kate asked as he plopped down in the seat beside her.

"What? I wasn't in there that long." He defended himself, panting a little from his jogging.

"What is it?"

"I told you, it's a surprise."

With a scoff and an eye roll, the driver pulled back into traffic and made his way to her apartment. Opening her door, she went to go put the flowers in a vase and set them in center view on her counter. He came to lean against it, setting the envelope down in front of him. She came to stand next to him and gave him a wondering look, then moved it to the envelope. "So, you going to tell me what's in there now?"

"Well, you said that you wanted me to read some of my work to you today, and since I know that you've read all of my published work, I thought that you'd enjoy reading something of mine that was never published."

Her mouth upturned into smile behind it being gaping in surprise. "Really?" When he nodded, and began to open the envelope, she continued. "What is it?"

"It's something I wrote a little while after Kyra had left. I showed it to them, they said it had potential, and if I made some tweaks to it, they would consider running it, but I decided to pursue other things." He plopped the short manuscript down on the counter and stared at it.

"What's it about?" She asked, trying to hide her eagerness, as she sat up on a stool.

"Have you ever read A Catcher In The Rye?" When she nodded, he continued. "Aw, you poor thing. Anyway, it's like that, but sappier."

"Oh, well, it can't be that bad."

"Not for me to judge."

"What's it called?"

"I never gave it a name. You're going to have to bear with me, it's not my best work." He flipped back the blank cover page, and started to read.

_You know, I've never known why people are the way they are. Always walking around, looking like they've got somewhere to be. Why can't they just stop for a minute, and enjoy? Why does every one always have to be striving for something bigger, or better? I just don't get it. Sometimes, I just wish that we could all just take a minute or two out of the dam day and look up at the sky, just because it's there, you know? _

_That was the problem with her. She always had somewhere to be, always had someone to she had to talk to, always had something she had to be doing. She never just stopped and smelled the roses. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Said she was going to make something of herself, left me standing in the rain with a dozen roses clutched in one hand, and a strand of cheap pearls in the other. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her for what she did or anything, I just wish it had gone differently.  
_

_I sometimes sit up during the night, playing out that night in my head, how it would have gone differently. You know, if I had said this instead of that, or done this instead of that, but in the end, what happened happened for a reason. Now, I'm standing in my living room with a bottle of whiskey and my pop's 1911. _

_Three years ago today, she took off on that dam plane. My big bro is always trying to cheer me up. Easy for him, seeing as he has a wife and kids, white picket fence, and a collie, while I'm stuck in a low town rat hole, the only company being my Bob Segar albums and the mice. _

_Three years ago today, she told me she loved me. She told me that I had a chance to make a life, told me that she wanted it to be with her. Three years ago, she asked me to leave everything I've ever known behind to go escapading around in the dam UK. Three years ago today, we made love for the last time, and like we were both terminal. _

_"Just know, I'll always love you" She said, trying to fool me into thinking that she wasn't going to screw the first guy to give her a smile once that plane landed. _

_I wanted to believe her, I really did. But that ain't love. I thought that I knew what love was all about, until then. I still don't know what love really is, but I still know that ain't it. _

_I got the newspaper today, and there she is. 'Girl murdered in broad day light' the headline read. Had to swipe it from the news stand guy. Paper said that she was stabbed, like something out of Jack the Ripper. Just got back from the cops. They won't tell me anything besides they're working on it. My tax dollars at work I guess. _

_She sent me letters, here and there. Said that she was thinking of me. Had to hear that she got engaged from her old man. He always hated my guts, came down to New York just to rub it in my face. As morbid as it is, I'd love to see the look on his smug face now, where's her dam husband now? _

_Ah, who am I kidding. I still ain't over that girl, dead or not. I still don't know which is worse; loving a girl who doesn't love you back, or killing for her when she's already dead. There's blood on my hands now. Emptied the whole dam clip into his back, all eight rounds, gotta love my pop's for giving me his old service piece. _

_Let's see how those tax dollars fare now. _

He read slowly, in a Brooklyn accent. Her flipped back the page and looked back at her. She had a worried look on her face. "So? What'd you think?"

"That was pretty dark, Castle."

"It was a difficult time in my life. Kyra had left, I was in between best sellers, and had too much time to think."

"How was it going to end?" She asked, out of curiosity. She hated when a story didn't have an ending.

"He had mistakenly killed the girls husband, I was going to have this whole story be a suicide note, but after I sent the first chapter in, and got the notice that they didn't want to run it, I stopped writing it."

"Hearing that story, it must have been a really rough time for you."

"Yeah, it was." He slipped onto a stool next to her. They both stayed silent, with her asking him to continue with her soft gaze, and him contemplating whether or not to share. "At the time, I thought that I knew what being in love was, what it felt like. But looking back on it now, I was only in love with being in love. That feeling that there's one person out there, who wants you above everything else."

"Castle, can I tell you something?"

He looked over at her, to her slightly smiling face. "Sure."

"There's a big difference between love and being in love."

He scrunched his eye brows in confusion. "What do you mean."

"Well, think about it. You can love a song, or a pair of shoes, or a car, but you can only be in love with some one. See what I'm saying?"

He cupped her cheek and bent over to kiss her lovingly. Moving their lips over one another's slowly, she ran her hand down the back of his head. They separated, and he slipped out of the stool he occupied, and stood in the space between her legs, bringing up his other hand to run through her hair. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

**A/N: Again, sorry for the long delay in this, been busy. Please let me know what you think about Castles manuscript. Im not sure about it, but I felt like I needed to give Beckett a glimpse into what he would be like if they ever did break up, and what darkness is really inside of him. But, im not sure how I went about it. Anyway, let me know. The next chapter will get into some pretty heavy case work that I hope you guys will like, and it will get a bit more angsty from here on out. thank you all for waiting, and especially reading, but more for reviewing! Thanks for the continued support! **

**~Major :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:So this kind of turned into two chapters rolled into one. I wanted to get some case work started, and a little drama, and to do that, I needed to make this a little long. Hope you like it. Thanks :) **

**A/N2: REVISED* I changed a few details in the case work of this chapter. Thank you to Fbobs for the help. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

He sighed heavily, with her plastered against his chest, just getting her own breath back. "Just keeps getting better." He said, brushing the hair from her forehead.

"Yeah." She lifted her head and kissed him and grabbed his hand that he was pulling away and placed it low on her hip, then moved her own hands to the back of his head. She finally released his mouth with a wet pop. "So, that how you envisioned page 105?" She asked, only and inch from his face.

"No." She pulled back enough for his image to come back into focus. "I could never dream of anything that good." She smiled brightly and kissed him again. It didn't matter that they were both still panting, and sharing each others breath for that matter, they still kissed forcefully, passionately, and with out reserve. His hands forged their way up her back and tangled in her hair, with her relentlessly grinding down on his pelvis. Castle flipped her over on her back and hovered above her with dark, hungry eyes.

"Wow, for a guy in his forties, you do have a lot of vigor." She said, once again, working to get her breath back.

"Oh sure, throw that in my face." He said, with a smile on his face.

"Just get down here." She demanded, grasping his hair on the back of his head again and pulling him down to crash against her lips. Not one to disobey a direct order from Kate Beckett, especially not one of this nature, he thrust himself inside her again. Not bothering to set the pace slow at first, it was quickened and eventually, they were both falling off of the cliff again.

Once again, with her plastered on his chest, both still working to catch their breath, he spoke again. "Just keeps getting better."

She laughed into his chest and pushed herself up against him, on weak arms. "I'm going to be sore for work tomorrow thanks to you."

"If it makes you feel better, so will I."

"That does make me feel a little better, yeah." She said with a chuckle.

She rolled over onto her back next to him. "So, did you have anything planned for dinner?" He asked, sounding cautious.

"No, not really. Why?"

"Well, mother is out for the night again, and Alexis is going over to her friends house again tonight, so I thought maybe you could come over again, I'll make us something special." He offered, putting his weight on his elbow as he hovered close to her.

"That sounds nice."

"Glad you think so. Should I expect you around say, seven'ish?"

"Can't I just come with you?" She asked.

"I have some errands to run. Pretty boring." He said, leaning down to kiss her and began to get up.

"Castle." She said, in a flat tone.

"Yes?" He asked, grabbing his pants off of the floor.

"Remember when I told you it's my job to tell when people are lying to me?"

He looked over at her, and she arched an eye brow up in question. "What? I really do have stuff to do if you're coming over again. And, call me corny, but I want it to be a surprise. Okay?"

With a sigh of defeat, she sat up fully and wiggled her way over to him on the edge of the bed. "What is it with you and surprises?"

"I'm a hopeless romantic." He confessed with a shrug.

"Don't I know it." She said, just before she kissed him again.

"So, be back at my place around 7, don't bring anything with you except that gorgeous smile and an open mind."

"What? Why an open mind?" She asked, but he was already buttoning up his shirt and starting to walk out. "Castle? Castle, what are you feeding me?!"

"It's a surprise!" He shouted back before she heard the door close.

* * *

Getting back to his loft with a do to list in his hand, he had just enough time to get things ready.

"Hello, dear. I thought you were spending the day with Beckett." Martha asked from the couch.

"I am. She's coming over tonight so we can have dinner," He moved behind the couch, and leaned down to kiss his mother on the cheek, "alone."

"I'll make myself scarce. Oh, by the way, this came for you in the mail." She said, holding a letter in the air.

"What is it?"

"Don't know, didn't have my name on it."

"That hasn't stopped you before." He took the letter from her. His address was stamped on the front, and nothing else. No return address, his address wasn't hand written. "Hmm."

He ripped the edge open with his finger and took out the letters contents. A single sheet of printer paper, nothing else. He opened it, and read the small paragraph of numbers.

40.7530N 74.7990W

15F

He looked at it intently. "Was this all there was?"

"Yep, that's it."

"Okay, thanks. Where's Alexis?"

"She left about 20 minutes ago for Paige's. Said to tell you she would be back tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll be in my office if you need me."

He walked into his office and set the letter down next to his computer. He sat down in his chair and entered the number into the search bar. He recognized them right away as coordinates, he just needed to find out what they pointed to. Hitting enter, a map appeared, with a picture of Grand Central Station next to the spot marked 'A'. He took up the paper again, and noticed that this too, was machine typed. Times Roman font, nothing out of the ordinary, except the second number, '15F'. Most be the boys, playing a prank on him. He let the paper float back down to his desk and closed his laptop.

He spent the rest of the day preparing for Beckett's arrival, which was now T-minus twenty minutes.

* * *

Kate hopped out of her car, and dodged the traffic of the Monday evening to get across the street. She walked into his building and gave the doorman her usual nod and smile. She pinged the elevator down to the ground floor and waited. She walked inside when the doors opened, as she doors closed she heard the doorman pick up the phone. She walked down the hall way and rounded the corner to his door. There was a small yellow sticky note in the center.

_Come on in. _

_It's the one next to yours. _

_~Rick_

She tried the knob, but it was locked. Trying it again, it was still fruitless. She grabbed the note off of the door. "The one next to yours?" She recited out loud. Sudden realization hit her. She fumbled in her bag for her keys and quickly grabbed onto her apartment key, and went one over. The let the surprise win out, over the anger that she felt toward herself for not noticing a new key on her ring. She slipped the new key into the dead bolt, and unlocked it, a little stiffly, seeing as it was a new key. She crept the door open and saw that the loft was dark. She closed the door behind her, and dropped her bag in the usual spot. She took her coat off and went to hang it up. She looked up at the rack for a free hook, when another note caught her attention.

_Don't worry, it's for emergencies only. _

She grabbed the note from the hook and read it again, and looked back at the keys, still clutched in her hands. How did he know that she would be a little fearful about him giving her a key to his loft, so early in their relationship? She hung up her coat and looked around the loft again. All was still dark, and unusually quiet, even the city noise was a little suppressed tonight. She walked slowly further into the loft and saw another note on a stool, she went over to it and read it with out picking it up.

_Remember where you stayed  
when your place blew up?_

She looked upstairs, and began to climb, the higher she got, the more her pulse quickened in pace. Third door on the left, she kept telling herself. She continued down the hall and stopped when she spotted a soft, flickering glow coming from the slightly ajar door, lighting up the a small part of the dark loft in an orange ray of light. She slowly made her way over to the door and pushed it open. A large lump formed in her throat and her breath hitched a little. There he was, standing next to a small table, the center holding a single rose, a silver tray, covered in a larger silver dome set off to the side, and two chairs. It wasn't until she looked back at him that she noticed a small remote clutched in his hand, with slow music playing softly in the background. She had to listen for a second, but she knew the song when she heard the first few notes.

"Eric Clapton?" She asked, smally.

"Found it suitable." He said, making his way over to her slowly. He was dressed in a purple dress shirt, red tie, and black sports coat. He looked more dressed than usual. He felt her eyes racking up and down him accusingly. "What? A man can't look nice?" He asked rhetorically.

"What's this for?"

"Like I told you this morning. I'm a romantic." Oh, she knew. And like Alexis had told her, to a fault. She promised herself, and Alexis, come to think of it, that she was in this, all the way. No matter how much this new feeling scared her, no matter how much this feeling made her shake, she knew where she belonged now. He was now standing a few feet away, while she was still glued to the same place, feeling his eyes on her, waiting for her to respond.

"You didn't have to do this, Castle." She said, inching forward.

"If I only did things that I had to, we wouldn't be here."

She inched her way into his embrace and pressed her lips softly to his. He urged her forward be pulling on her waist, with her pulling herself up with her hands on his slight 5 o'clock shadow. "Isn't it a little soon for a romantic, candle light dinner together with Wonderful Tonight playing?"

"The way I see it, it would be too soon if we had met last week, but I met you almost four years ago, and if I have to confess, have been pining after you for close to two years, so no." When she stayed silent for too long a moment, he started to back away. "Unless you do think this is going to fast."

"No, it's not that. Well, it is, but it isn't." She said, fighting a war with herself.

"What do you mean?"

"I know that this is where I should be, where I want to be. I know now that this is what I want. But, now that I'm here, that we're here, I'm scared that it will fall apart." She looked down ward and away from him, but kept her hands scrunched into his lapels.

"Kate, I want you to look at me." When she didn't respond, he pulled her closer by the waist. "I want you to look me in the eye when I say this." She looked up with watery eyes. He offered a warm smile before he spoke. "I know that you heard me when I said this the first time, and I know now that is wasn't the best possible time, but I'm telling you again." He moved his hand up to swipe a stray tear away from her cheek. "I'm in love with you."

She forced her lips on his in a long, heated kiss. She giggled as they separated.

"What's so funny?" He asked, pressing his forehead against hers.

"It's a lot better when I don't have a bullet in my chest." He laughed and kissed her again.

"Yeah, it is, and hey, you kept your promise."

"What promise?"

"You didn't pass out."

"No, I didn't." She said, a bright smile spilling out.

They sat down to eat over a meal Castle had obviously painstakingly prepared. "This is great, Castle." She said over a mouthful of food. "I've got to be honest though, I feel a little under dressed."

"Oh don't worry about it. If I had told you to come all dressed up, it would have given it away."

"Castle, about the key..."

"Look, if you don't want it, you can always give it back, I won't be mad."

"No, it's not that. I just wanted to know why."

"Oh, well, with Alexis going off to college soon, and mother being as unpredictable as she is, I just wanted you to have a way in, if you absolutely needed in. And between you and me, I'd rather leave my door frame intact. I didn't, over step or anything, did I?"

She shook her head. "No, I was just wondering. You didn't have to put it on my key ring though."

"Well, if I had just given it to you, you probably would have said no, and tell me to keep it."

They finished what was left of the meal and sat in silence, until Kate broke it. "Thank you for tonight, Castle."

"It was my pleasure."

"Well, as much as I'd love to tear those clothes off of you, I have to get going. It's getting late, and I have to work tomorrow."

"Right." He said, resigning to his fate.

"Hey, I'll see you in the morning."

"I know, I know. It's just..."

"Yeah," She leaned up to kiss him briefly, "me too."

"See you in the morning?"

"See you in the morning." She echoed. Kissing one last time, he walked her to the door, holding her hand down the stairs. She opened the door, but was pulled back into his embrace by a tug on her hand he was still holding, not like she was objecting. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

"You don't have to go." He spoke against her mouth. She responded by pushing the door closed with her finger tips and replacing her hand on his neck.

"Just remember to set an alarm." She said, breathy. He walked her back to push her against the door, and began working at the edges of her jacket. She toed off her shoes in preparation, and began to tug at the knot of his tie. Soon, there was a trail of clothes breadcrumbing towards his bedroom door. He grabbed his phone off of his desk on the way, and it wasn't until she had shoved him down onto his bed that he had a chance to do what he was told. With a faint beep, that only he was listening for, he began. "Set an alarm for 6:30." He said, panting. With a mechanical voice confirming his alarm was set, she looked back at him with confusion. "Money has it's perks." He said, tossing the phone on the night stand. Their movement was slow, and loving, just reveling in the touch each other was offering.

Soon, they were drifting off to sleep, still in the embrace neither one of them was willing to leave.

* * *

They arrived at the scene at about eight, trying to act normal. To everyone else, nothing was amiss. Both had their usual cups of coffee, both dressed normally, just their normal selves, as normal as they could be together.

"Hey Lanie."

"Hey there, you two." She said, cheekily. Castle gave her a weird look, when Lanie gave a knowing glance toward him.

"What've we got?"

"Male, mid sixties, no ID." Lanie said, looking back at her clipboard.

"Cause of death?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure yet. He's got a gun shot wound in the chest, but judging from where it is, it doesn't look like it would have killed him right away, and there's not enough blood here to say whether he bled out or not."

"Looks like some one beat the hell out of him." Castle chimed in, taking in the mans appearance.

"Yeah, so far, he's got a broken nose, a few missing teeth, and a few broken ribs. I'm sure I'll find more once I get him back to the lab, but until then, I can't really give you a narrowed down time line, or a specific cause of death yet."

"We know who he is?" Beckett asked.

"No, he has no ID, no wallet, no cell phone, no nothing. Guys a John Doe." Esposito said coming up from behind. "No one in the area saw anything out of the ordinary, but I've still got uni's canvasing."

"Alright, anything else?"

"He's well off." Castle said, looking back at the man.

"How do you know?" Beckett asked.

"Look at the suit he's in. That's no brand name stuff, that's custom tailored for him. Maybe, with a little luck, we'll be able to track down who made it."

"Oh, good job, Castle."

"Yeah, bro. I'll have Ryan run it once we get it back from Lanie."

"Where is Ryan anyway?" Beckett asked, making her way back to her cruiser.

"Said he'd be late, something about Jenny's sister being in town."

They got into her car, and started off towards the precinct. Castle, not saying a word till they were stuck at a red light. "Lanie knows, doesn't she?"

"What?" Kate asked. She asked, but she wanted to make it sound like she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Lanie knows, about us." Kate opened her mouth to say something but Castle cut her off. "Does she?"

"Well, I haven't told her that we've..."

"Had sex?"

"Yeah, but, she might know anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"That night, when I got drunk, Lanie took me back to her place to crash for the night. Then I went to see her again after you came in the morning, and we... talked."

"About?"

"I just needed advice, Castle. I don't see what the big deal is."

"What were you planning on telling her?"

"I wasn't _planning _on telling her anything. But you know Lanie, she will beat it out of me if she has to. She's going to find out eventually. Why are you getting so upset about this?"

"Because Kate, this is us, I thought that we would keep this between us and our families."

"Castle, Lanie is practically my sister. I tell her everything." When he sighed angrily and looked out the window, she tried to remedy the situation. "Look, there's still one thing we are over looking here," He looked back at her. "Gates. She hasn't exactly warmed up to you yet, and if she finds out about us, we both know what she will do."

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm going to talk to Lanie, and tell her to keep her mouth shut about this with Ryan and Espo, okay?"

"Okay. Just don't, divulge anything. I know I have a reputation, but I won't tell Ryan or Esposito anything, if you don't want me to. I think I should get the same from you."

She nodded in agreement. The rest of the drive was made in silence. The walked into the precinct to find Ryan just getting off of the phone. "Hey guys. So Espo just filled me in. He said that canvas picked up nada. But they did find a shell casing of a 22 long rifle round at the scene, which matches the hole in our vic."

"22lr? That's a pretty low caliber." Castle said, coming to stand in front of the murder board, that held very little information.

"Was CSU able to get any prints off of it?"

"No."

"Who would use a .22 in an assassination?" Castle asked.

"I don't think it was. Who ever shot him, probably didn't mean to kill him. He probably just shot him to make it look like a mugging gone wrong."

"Well, we're still waiting on a full ballistics report."

"And we can't do anything else until Lanie gets done with the full report."

So, they waited, with Beckett filling out the usual paper work, and Castle sitting idly next to her, waiting for something interesting to happen. About two hours into it, her phone rang, and they were ushered down into the morgue.

"Hey Lanie, what've you got?" Beckett asked, strolling into the lab.

"Cause of death is electrocution. Some one chained him down to a metal chair with something hooked up to it. Most likely a car battery, judging by the burn marks. Some one tortured him."

"So if cause of death was electrocution, why'd they shoot him?" Castle asked.

"Not my department. But that's not the interesting part. I was going through his clothes, and found this. It was under the soul of his shoe, I wouldn't have found it if I hadn't dropped it on the floor by accident."

"What is it?" Lanie lifted a small evidence bag up in front of them, containing a small key.

"Can I see that?" Castle asked, and grabbed the bag to look at the key closely. There was one set of numbers on it. '15F'.

His eyes widened slightly, and he began to dig in his pocket for the folded piece of paper he had taken with him this morning, and reread it. '15F'. "It's a locker number." He mumbled to himself.

"What is it, Castle?"

"Here, take a look at this." He said, handing her the piece of paper.

"What am I looking at?"

"I got that in the mail yesterday. I typed in those numbers, and found that they're coordinates to Grand Central Station. I thought it was just a prank that the boys were playing on me, but..."

"Why would our John Doe send you a letter with directions to Grand Central Station, and a locker number, but not give you the key?"

"I don't know. This makes about as much sense to me as it does to you."

"There's one more thing you guys should know. Judging by the degree of these burns, and the age of the cuts on his face, who ever tortured him, did it for days." Lanie said.

"Thanks Lanie. Did you send his clothes up to Espo to run down?"

"Already done, girl."

"Thanks again, Lanie." They both walked out, with Castle still holding the evidence bag containing the locker key. They got into the elevator, and Castle spoke up.

"I think I know who he is."

"What?" She asked, hurriedly.

"Our vic, I think I know who he is."

"And?"

"You remember, what I told you? About the guy that called me over the summer?" When she nodded, he continued. "I think that's him."

* * *

**A/N: A little longer than I expected it to be. But I wanted to get the start of the case work I have in my head down. And if I had seperated this into two chapters, than I would have had to end the next chapter way to early. So there you have it. Thanks again for reading :) **

**~Major. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

"Are you sure?" Beckett asked, trying to get the shake out of her voice.

"No. I only talked to him once, and that was over the phone. I never met with him." He sounded nervous, scared, something about this really shook him up.

"You said that he had information, that he was using against them."

"Yeah, and if they tortured him to get it, then that means they either have it now and it's only a matter of time, or he died keeping it from them."

"Let me see that letter, I'll have CSU run prints on it, see if there are any others besides yours and mine. If our guys prints are on it, then he did send you this letter, and we need what ever is in that locker." He took out the piece of paper from his pocket, and handed it to Beckett, who was now wearing a pair of blue latex gloves. They strode into the bullpen and Beckett made the necessary call to have CSU come and collect the letter.

"Hey guys, Ryan is just getting through with the vic's suit. It was custom tailored by a shop uptown. Ryan is going down there now to show them his picture, see if they recognize them, and if we're lucky, get a name." Esposito made his way over to the murder from his desk.

"What about ballistics?"

"Canvas picked up no one who heard any shot with in the time frame Lanie just sent up. Not really surprising, .22's are pretty quiet shots. They said it most likely came from an SR 22, but they can't be entirely sure unless they get a hold of the gun that made the shot."

"Okay, Castle and I are going downtown to run down a lead that just came up. Have Ryan call me if he turns anything up from that tailor." Beckett said, leaving the letter in an evidence bag on her desk to be picked up.

They made their way out to her car and got in. "I need to make a stop first." Castle said, buckling his seat belt.

"Where?"

"Back at the loft. There's something I need to pick up." He said, a dark seriousness edging in his voice.

"Okay."

Making their way back to his loft. He ran up stairs quickly. He unlocked his front door, and called out to see if anyone was home. Luckily, no one was. He went over to the cabinet behind his desk and opened the bottom drawer, and entered the perspective code in the small safe. He grabbed his piece, checked the chamber to make sure it was still loaded, and went back down stairs. When he got back in the car, and tried to play it off like nothing was wrong.

"What was that all about?"

"Just needed to pick up something, that's all."

"And that would be?" When he looked away and back out the window, she prodded further. "Castle, was is it?" He reached into his wallet and handed her a small white card, just behind his drivers license.

"A CCW? Since when can you carry?" She asked, rather shocked.

"I got it over the summer. With everything that was going on, and with your shooter still out there, I didn't want to take any chances, especially when I was kicked out of the precinct. I stopped carrying when ever we started working together again. I still manage to hit the range every once in a while. Luckily, the guys at the desk at the precinct know me and wave me through pretty late at night when I know no one else is going to be down there."

She was choking on her words. She had really never seen this side of him. She knew he could shot with the best of them, but this made it too real. "Would you mind me asking what you're packing?"

"Colt, government issue 1911, series 70." He read off, like he had memorized it, which he had.

"That's a pretty expensive gun, Castle." He simply looked over at her, as if he was asking her if she knew who she was talking to.

"I just don't want to take any chances." He said seriously.

She nodded, and pulled into traffic. The trip to Grand Central was made in silence. When they arrived, he unbuckled his seat belt and began to get out. "I'll be right back."

"Wait. You're not going in there alone." She said, grabbing onto his coat sleeve.

"Kate, he sent the letter to me, what ever is in that locker was too. I'm sorry, but the less you know about this case, the safer you are."

"Castle, this is _my _case. We are partners, we do this together, that's what _partners _do."

"I'm sorry, but I can't take the chance of them coming after you again. And the only way that that is going to happen is if the information this guy had stays in safe hands, and right now, that's with me. I'm sorry, but I'm going alone." With that, he jumped out of the car and walked calmly inside.

She had to admit that she was angry, upset, but she knew what he meant, but that didn't mean she accepted it. After fighting with herself for a few minutes, she turned off her car and flung open the door, slammed it shut and ran inside after him.

* * *

He walked calmly over to the wall of lockers, taking the small key out of the evidence bag. He started on one side and made his way to the left, counting down. Scanning the locker numbers, he found 15F on the far side. He slipped the key in and opened the locker. It was empty, except for a small flash drive, no bigger than a soda can top. He grabbed it and looked at it. Was this what this guy was killed over?

"Castle!" Beckett shouted running up to him.

"Beckett? I told you I have to do this alone."

"Yeah, and I'm not letting you. I'm your partner, we do this together, or not at all, okay?"

"Kate..." He was cut off by a loud crack, echoing through the large space of Grand Central. They both ducked on instinct. And it wasn't until another shot came flying by that they saw people begin to scatter and run every which way, with a hooded figure standing close to 75 feet away. Beckett began to draw her glock, but Castle grabbed her jacket sleeve and pulled her behind the cover of a row of lockers, and then got up into a crouching position and quickly made his way to the other side of the lockers, pulling his 1911. She was shocked to see this take charge side of him that she couldn't do anything beyond watch him pull his gun from the small of his back, wait a few seconds, then get off two shots, echoing very loudly through out the marble hall of Grand Central.

He had drilled on his own for this. He had practiced drawing from behind his back, went to the range late at night with two boxes of .45 acp, and shot until he could hit the 10 ring, and nothing else, but doing it during the stress of a real life situation, especially when the woman he loves is involved, is a whole other thing. He quickly pulled his gun from behind his back after pulling Beckett down behind the lockers, and flicked the thumb safety. There was another loud crack above the people shouting, and screaming, running out of the station, and Castle took this opportunity to see where this guy was. He was walking slowly, holding a small pistol in his hands, and aiming at him. He quickly registered him take another shot, and have it hit the locker next to him, this guy sure wasn't Buffalo Bill. He took aim, and ran through the check list quickly in his head.

Hand clasped in front, equal pressure on both sides, sights light up evenly, focus on front site, and squeeze. Two shots rang out, but the shooter ducked and rolled quickly, dodging the shots before they could ring out. By this time, he heard two more shots ring out from his other side, and saw Beckett firing at the same target that he was, but still not hitting him. With this distraction, Castle didn't hear the next loud crack coming from in front of him. Feeling a slight pressure low in his left chest and got off one more shot before he had to duck behind the lockers again.

By the time Beckett had the guy in her full view, he was already running down a hall way, and quickly disappeared behind a corridor. "Come on, Castle!" She heard a low groan coming from her right and looked over to see him clutching his stomach, and start to grind his teeth. "Castle!" She ran over to him and skidded down next to him. "Where did it hit?"

"I'm not sure." Castle stated in a harsh whisper.

She pulled back his sports coat and saw a faint crimson coming from just below his peck. She quickly got on her phone. "Dispatch, this is Detective Beckett, badge number 41319, we have multiple shots fired at Grand Central Station. Requesting back up and a paramedic. We have an officer down." She heard dispatch come back with orders telling her that back up and medical attention is on the way. "It's okay, Castle, you're going to be fine."

"Officer?"

"I'll deal with Gates later." He chuckled and nodded his head off to the side. Uniforms came pouring in, guns drawn, in search of her. "Over here!" A couple uniforms came next to her but she waved them off. "He went down that hall way, 6'2'' wearing a black hoodie and sun glasses."

A paramedic ran over and kneeled down next to them and began to remove things from his bag. "What have we got?"

"Low caliber gun shot wound to the chest."

The paramedic pulled back Castle's coat and ordered for them to get a stretcher over to him. "We got a call saying that he had an officer down." He said in an accusing tone.

"He's my partner." Beckett barked. "Just get him the help he needs or so help me..."

"Alright, alright. We'll get him taken care of. Don't worry." He said, lifting Castle onto the stretcher with a heavy groan.

"Detective?" A uniform called her attention. "We lost him. We can't find him."

"What do you mean you can't find him!?" Beckett demanded.

"He ran into an ally way, and we lost him outside."

"Set up a perimeter, I don't want this guy getting away. He just shot my partner, and he's most likely responsible for a murder we are investigating. GO!" She called him off. She put her hand against her forehead and tried to catch her runaway composure. She was startled out of her thought process by her phone. "Beckett."

"Yo, we just got the call. What the hell happened?" Espo asked.

"I'll tell you later, you and Ryan just meet me and the hospital where they are sending Castle. Who ever this guy is, he's trying to scare us. But all he did was royally piss me off."

"You got it. Oh hey, Ryan just got back from that tailor, suit was made for a Micheal Smith, I was about to run it when I got the call saying that you guys were in trouble."

"It can wait, Espo. You and Ryan just get down to St. Judes. I'll wrap up here and meet you guys there."

"You got it, boss."

She called over a uniform. "Tape this place off and get CSU down here. Have the stations security tapes sent to me at the precinct, I want everything going back to last week, and SOME ONE PICK UP THIS BRASS!" She yelled out to no one in general. "I want every single casing in evidence bags and on my desk in an hour. Move!"

The uniform ran off. She went over to Castle's gun that had slipped out of his hand and picked it up. She hit the magazine release and checked that he had gotten off three shots. She wracked the slide back to eject the cartridge, and pushed it back into the magazine, and smacked it back in, and hit the safety. Putting his piece in the small of her back, she walked out and back to her car and sped off in the direction of the hospital.

She walked into the waiting room and flashed her badge. "There was a man brought in about thirty minutes ago with a gun shot wound. He's my partner, and I need to know his status." The nurse checked her clipboard.

"He just got out of surgery. You'll have to talk to the doctor who was operating for more information."

"And where is he?"

"Detective Beckett?"

She turned around to a man in a scrubs and just pulling off his mask. "Yes?"

"I'm Doctor Hughes. Are you here for Richard Castle?"

"Yes, he's my partner. How is he?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't discuss it with out his next of kin present."

She took out her badge once more and held it up to him. "You know what this is? This is my badge. That man that you have in there is my partner, so either you tell me his status, or I shove you aside, walk through those doors and find out myself."

With a sigh of defeat, he continued. "Alright. He's going to be fine. The bullet we pulled out of him was a 22, fairly small. Didn't hit any major arteries or anything. It just impacted just below his lung. It probably would have been fatal if the bullet hadn't hit his phone."

"What?"

"When the bullet hit him, it went through his cell phone, and slowed it down. He's pretty lucky."

"When is he expected to come out of it?"

"Should be up in a few hours."

"Alright, I need that bullet sent over to the 12th precinct to be tested. We have reason to believe it came from the same gun used in a murder that took place this morning."

"Will do, Detective."

"Thank you, Doctor."

With that, the doctor walked off back down the hallway, and Ryan and Espo came running up behind her. "How is he?" Ryan asked.

"He's fine. The bullet pierced his phone and slowed the bullet down. Did you hear back from the CSU team at Grand Central yet?"

"Yeah, they say that the gun used there was the same gun used in our murder. From the reports that are coming in from witnesses, he was using a Ruger SR22. The stations security team is sending over the footage now, and the APB that was put out on this guy hasn't turned up anything yet."

"What about what you found out at the tailor, Ryan?"

"Suit was made for a Micheal Smith. I couldn't get much on him besides a web search. He had no priors, no next of kin listed, his address that we have listed is bogus, the only thing that the web search found out was that he used to work for a law firm that consulted with the DA's office at one point in the late nineties. We put a request in for all the paper work that they have left, but they said that most of it was destroyed when they were bought out back in 1999."

"Alright. I want Castle put under guard here. I'm going to go and see him real quick, and then head back to his place. Espo, can you call his mother for me, tell her what happened? Ryan, get LT down here to guard Castle. With what's going on here, we need someone we can trust."

"You got it."

"Right boss." Ryan and Espo said in unison.

She was waved by the nurse when Beckett gave her a harsh look and was told was room he was in. She walked in and he was lying on the bed, his heart monitor going at a normal pace. The doctor came in to check on him and Beckett decided that now was as good a time as any. "Do you have the clothes he came in?"

"Yeah, they're over there." He motioned over to the chair next to his bed. "You're partners very lucky. All he needs is a few pain meds, time to rest, and a good bandage, and he'll be back on his feet in no time. If his luck keeps up, he'll be out of here by tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, Doctor." She went over to his clothes when he had left the room and searched his pockets. She came across a small thumb drive in his right pocket and put it in her own. This must have been what he was after. She went over to the side of his bed, and bent down and kissed his forehead. "I'll be back soon."

She had to continue this. She had to finish it. She walked out of the hospital, and out to her car, when her phone rang again. "Beckett."

"Yo, I just called Castle's mom, she said the she was on her way down, but still can't get a hold of Alexis."

"Okay, thanks Espo. I'm going to head back to Castle's to get him some new clothes, then I'll be back there."

"We got things handled down here. You know where you need to be right now, and it sure as hell ain't down here dodging Gates."

"Alright, just keep me posted." She hung up and made her way in the direction of Castle's loft. She parked her car outside and walked in, keeping her gaze locked on the elevator door, not even acknowledging the doorman. She was at his door, but it was locked. With a small sigh, she remembered something. She grabbed her keys out of her bag and went to the one he had put on there. If ever there was an emergency, this was it. She slipped the key in and unlocked the door. She threw her bag down and made her way over to his office. She pulled out the small thumb drive and plugged it into his laptop and waited for the file to open. There were two, one marked as an audio file, and the other as an encrypted file. She clicked on the audio file and waited for it to load.

"Mr. Castle. If you're hearing this, then you know by now that I'm dead. They've been getting closer and closer for the past few months, and they will stop at nothing to keep this buried. This thumb drive contains everything that Montgomery sent me. If you want a hard copy, you'll have to find it yourself. I'm entrusting you with this because I know what you want, and that's for Detective Beckett to remain alive. If you do discover this thumb drive, then they already know who I am, and that there is someone else now who has the files that they need kept buried. Make sure that this never falls into the wrong hands, Mr. Castle, and she will be left alone. I've done all I can, now it's up to you."

She was reeling from what she had heard. 'The less you know about this case, the safer you are' echoed in her head. She knew he was right, but what choice did she have? She pulled the thumb drive out of the port on his laptop and put it back in her pocket. She'd have to have Ryan help her decrypt it. Her phone buzzed again. "Beckett."

"You have to get back down here, now."

"Why? What's going on?" She panicked.

"Castle's missing."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Wow, three chapters in one weekend! **

**Disclaimer: still not mine.**

* * *

She came storming into the waiting room, shoving the swinging doors to have them slam against the wall with a loud clank, loud enough to draw the attention of the small group that had formed, of Ryan, Esposito, and Martha. Esposito was the first to approach, but he was passed by. She walked in between Ryan and Martha and over to LT who was standing out side the group, but close enough to the door to his room.

"Beckett..." Esposito tried. She simply kept storming her way forward. She grabbed LT's jacket and shoved him forcefully against the nearest wall, and held him there.

"You were suppose to guard him! What the hell were you doing!" She screamed, making her voice scratch. Ryan and Esposito were on her immediately, trying to restrain her and pull her off of him.

"It's not his fault! Castle was gone when he got here." Esposito said, grabbing her arm and pulling her back. She shacked them off of her.

"What did the hospital staff say?"

"Nurse said that some one went in to clean his room about five minutes after you left, but didn't see him come out. We've got a team sifting through the security footage to see if they picked up anything, and we've got a team station at Castle's loft. We're bringing in Alexis to the precinct until this all blows over."

"Guys, I just got off the phone with the team at Grand Central." Ryan came running over. "We got a hit off of that APB we put out on the guy who shot at you. They found him trying to ditch the gun in a dumpster. They're bringing him in now."

"Okay, Espo, you stay here and over see things here. Have them pull a face from the footage off of the cams and talk to the nurse, see if it's the same guy who went in. Ryan, you still got friends in the FBI?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I need something analyzed. I'll have it sent down once I'm done here." Ryan began to walk down the hall way. "And have them put the shooter in interrogation and wait for me. No one talks to him but me, got it?" Ryan nodded and rounded the corner.

"Beckett?" Kate felt a soft touch on her shoulder, and an even softer voice urging her to face behind her. She turned around and there was standing Martha.

"I.. uh... I'm so sorry Martha. If I hadn't left I..."

"I don't want to hear it, dear. None of this is your fault."

"I promise you, Martha. I will do what ever it takes to get him back." Martha replaced a hand on her shoulder and tried to sooth her.

"I know you will, dear." Kate nodded and turned around and headed out of the hospital.

She walked into the bullpen and over to Ryan's desk, and pulled out the thumb drive. "Hey Ryan."

"Hey, what's up?"

"There's a file on here that's encrypted. I need it analyzed. But I need it done quietly."

"What do you mean?"

"Just, call me when it's done?" Ryan nodded and picked up his phone.

"Our guy is in box 1, Beckett." She was already walking into the room.

She flung the door open and slammed it shut. "Remember me?" She spoke low and harsh.

"Can't say that I do." Said the man sitting with his head down, hands cuffed in front of him. He looked young. Beckett came to lean over him across the table.

"I'm the one you shot at at Grand Central." He stayed silent. "You put my partner in the hospital, and now he's missing. You know anything about that?" She paused in hopes he would answer, but he never did. She cracked the file she brought with her open and slammed it against the table and slid it over to him. "You recognize him? He was dumped in an ally way this morning, with a bullet in him. The bullet matches the gun that you were picked up trying to get rid of. That's not to mention it's the same gun that you used to put my partner in the hospital. You're looking at life, easy."

"Good. I'll be safer behind bars anyway."

"You scared of these guys, are you? Then help me take them down. I know you're just a pawn in all this. Tell me who hired you." He shut down. "Tell me who hired you!" She said louder. When he didn't answer, she came around to the other side of the table. "I don't think you understand what's at stake here. If you don't cooperate, and my partner ends up dead, it all goes on your head. You think these guys scare you? Just try and push me, just a little farther." He looked up at her with a blank expression.

"Go to hell."

She snapped. She shoved the back of his head forward, sending his face hard down against the steel table. She then grabbed his shirt and sent him flying against the wall with a grunt. "I swear to god, if he ends up dead because you didn't talk, I'll kill you myself!" She screamed an inch away from his bloody face. It was then that Esposito charged into the room and had to wrestle her off of someone for the second time that day.

"Stand down! Ryan, take him down to holding." Esposito pulled Beckett out into the hall way. "What the hell are you..."

"Detective Beckett! In my office, NOW!" Gates yelled from across the bullpen. She walked into her office and closed the door hard behind her and began to pace, trying to get are adrenaline to fade. "Give me your badge, and gun."

"What?!"

"As of now, you're suspended. Hand them over."

"Sir, you can't do this! This is Castle's life on the line! He's my partner. If you think I'm going to sit idly by and let him die, then you're wrong."

"I understand that Detective. But you're too close to this. You just assaulted our prime suspect, not to mention that little tiff you got into with LT at the hospital. You're out of control, Beckett. I'm sending you home until this matter is settled, and that is final." They locked stares for a minute before she threw her badge on her desk, along with her gun, and flung the door open and disappeared into the stair well.

* * *

He woke up with a cold feeling icing over him, and sending him into a coughing fit. He shook his head from side to side, and tried to get his vision back.

"Glad you could join us, Mr. Castle." A distant voice came from behind him.

"Wha... where am I." The voice didn't answer. He quickly took in his surroundings. He was sitting down, with his hands bound behind him, with what felt like twist ties. His shirt was missing, and he was still wearing the scrub pants that they had changed him into at the hospital, and he was covered in ice water that they had thrown on him to wake him up, the water being soaked up by his bandage wrapped around his midsection. It was dark, except for a workman's light hanging above him. He was sitting in a cold metal chair. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of what seemed to be a leaky pipe.

"Do you know who invented the electric chair, Mr. Castle?" The voice was mush closer this time.

"Thomas Edison. He invented it trying to prove Tesla's idea of alternating current wrong, but it didn't work."

"That's right. Do you know how many times they set the chair off before they finally had to shoot the man?"

"Five." With that, his whole body erupted in a violent pain, with every muscle he had flexing and pulsating in pain, it lasted a good five seconds.

"Six actually."

"So what? We're going to play Jeopardy?"

"No, Mr. Castle. I just want information. Our last guest wouldn't give it to us, so his story didn't have a happy ending. But since you're a writer, I'm sure you know what to do to get yours."

"Forget it." The chair went off again.

"You're doing this for no reason, Mr. Castle. You don't have to keep doing this."

"It's not for me. I have a feeling your going to kill me either way. So the least I could do is put up a fight." The chair went off again, and the screams he'd been trying to keep under let loose.

"I could have killed Kate Beckett anytime I wanted in the past eight months, but not with out arousing suspicion. So, I felt I needed to create a situation where she can be disposed of properly." Castle thrust himself out of the chair as much as he could at the man who had just appeared out of the shadows and spoke in a low, warning whisper.

"If you touch her, I swear to god..." The man lunged forward and grabbed his throat and shoved him back against the chair and got an inch away from his face.

"You'll do what!? I put a bullet through that pretty little chest of hers and got away scott free. I could do the same to you with out batting an eye lash. So don't toy with me!" Castle held his stare. Time to be his usual charming self. He worked the blood that had been pooling on the inside of his cheek, from where he bit down, to the front of his tongue, and spat it in the man's face. The man stepped back and whipped the blood off of his mouth, and sent his fist flying across Castle's face. "I'm usually a patient man. But you are starting to push it."

"Glad I could help." The chair went off again. After his muscles stopped contorting, he slumped over and began to hitch is breath in laughter. It soon grew into a full brightened laugh that echoed off of the brick walls that contained him. "You have no idea what hell you're unleashing on your own ass."

The man stepped back into the shadows and bent down to meet Castle's eye line. "I think I'll take my chances."

* * *

Kate Beckett was pacing back and fourth angrily in her living room, Castle's gun clutched in her hand, flicking the safety on and off with her thumb. She had her make shift murder board open, and every once in a while, she would stop, and look at it with a hard gaze, and keep pacing. She jumped when she heard a knock on her door. She moved over to answer it, gun still in hand. "What is it, Espo." He held up a file to her and moved passed her into her apartment.

"The guys name is David Blackevitch, 24, unemployed. He went into the army right out of high school, but was given an Honorary discharge after he got back from his first tour, when he was diagnosed with PTSD. A buddy of mine in the service looked him up for me. An incident report says that he snapped one day on base and starting shooting off rounds, and then he was discharged. He's been hopping from job to job for the past few years. The gun that he was using was one that was reported stolen about a week ago, from a pawn shop. A search of his place turned up a couple bundles of cash, adding up to about 20 grand."

"Did you get anything from the footage from the hospital?"

"There was a man seen going into Castle's room right after you left, dressed in doctor's scrubs, and carrying a small black duffel bag. Same camera caught him coming back out wheeling a stretcher with a body bag on it. He was careful to avoid cameras the rest of the way, and kept his face covered. He sifted through the rest of the footage, and found that he wheeled that body bag into the back of an ambulance, he got in the back, and it drove off."

"Can you run it's ID tag, it's license plate?"

"There wasn't one. They took them off. But, we were able to follow it via traffic cams all the way to some where in west end. We lost it after that. We got an APB out on the ambulance, and his family is down at the precinct, under guard." She let out a shaky sigh, and paced her way back over to her make shift murder board.

"What about Blackevitch?"

"He still won't talk. Who ever hired him, he's scared to death of them. DA's charging him with 1st degree murder, accessory to kidnapping, and assault with a deadly weapon on a state official. He's going away."

"If he lives that long."

"Beckett..." He was cut off by the ringing of his phone in his pocket. "Esposito. Where? I'll be right there." He hung up and began to move out the door.

"What is it?"

"They found the ambulance. I have to go. I'll let you know when I have more information." He stopped just outside the edge of her door frame. "Look, I'll talk to Gates about bringing you back on. You know this case better than anyone."

"Uh, thanks Javi." He closed the door behind him and ran down the hall way. She moved back to her couch and slumped back down, with Castle's gun still in her tight grip, every once in a while pulling the slide back to make sure it was still loaded. She had been venting her pain out through anger, trying to get suspects to talk by scaring them. But now, she didn't have her badge, or her authority as a cop, she was just left alone with her thoughts, ranging from his strong arms wrapped around her after making love, to seeing the crimson stain on his dress shirt on the floor of Grand Central, to waking up in his arms this morning, to the remorse she felt when she left the hospital when he was brought in. Finally, the anger turned into fear of never seeing him again, and it turned into burning tears in her eyes, and she lost the fight to keep them back. She could barely hear the knock on her door over her hard sobs. She moved up to open the door, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the hand that held his gun. "Hey Lanie."

"Hey there, sweetie. Ryan told me what happened, and I didn't think it was a good idea for you to be alone."

"Thanks Lanie." Lanie moved inside into her friend and wrapped her in a friendly hug, hoping to comfort her. She moved inside and closed the door behind her.

"You want to talk about it?"

"No... and yes." Kate moved over to her position on the couch and slumped back. Lanie slowly moved over to her and sat down next to her, waiting for her to continue. "I gave it up. I stopped for him. I wanted to give it a shot. And it was the best decision I've ever made." She started to sob again. "He shouldn't have to go through this. It should be me, not him. Why did he have to get involved in this?" Lanie put a hand on her upper back, attempting to try and sooth her, knowing it wouldn't help.

"I gave up this case so we could be together. But now..."

"Now?"

"I have to finish it to get him back."

* * *

**A/N: Im a die hard firefly fan! With that being said, my favorite episode is War Stories. The one where Mal and Wash get kidnapped by that old dude and electrocuted.  
"This is something the Captain has to do alone." **

**"NO ITS NOT!" **

**"Right." *Unloads* :D **

**That in mind, i kind of worked off of that for Castles scene. Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks guys! And thanks to fbobs for reviewing on almost every chapter, and for the help. **

**~Major**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:Super happy Castle 100th episode mon day! **

**Disclaimer: still not mine.**

* * *

"We can do this all day, Mr. Castle." The man said, walking behind the chair Castle occupied.

"Please, call me Rick." He said, panting.

"Just tell me what Smith sent you, and it can all end."

"Why... why end a good thing?" Castle chuckled, and looked up at the man holding him captive as he paced his way around him.

"You know what I thought when I pulled that trigger? I thought to myself, what a waste. She is very hot. I did think about kidnapping her instead of you, having a little fun. But my orders are clear. Still... wouldn't mind taking that..." Castle thrust forward in his chair again, the chains that held his legs down digging into his ankles, and feeling the cold rush of blood down his palm, where the twist tie had been digging in.

"I'd kill you before you got anywhere near her." The mans fist made contact with his jaw again and sent him down.

"You know more than most what I'm capable of."

"Well," He paused to spit the blood out of his mouth and onto the ground next to him. "love makes you do crazy things."

"I guess that's why after eight hours, you still won't give me the information I need."

"No," He looked back up at the man, "I just like to fuck with you." He said with a smirk. The man punched him again, then dug his fist into Castle's fresh gun wound.

"You're putting yourself through hell, Mr. Castle."

"You think this is hell? No... hell will be here soon enough."

* * *

"Sir? A word?" Esposito said, popping his head through his captain's door.

"What is it, Detective Esposito?" Gates said, taking off her reading glasses, and putting down a sheet of paper work.

"We found the ambulance that was used to move Castle, abandoned near a tunnel just going into west end, right where we lost it when we were going through traffic footage. We canvased the area, and witnesses saw a black SUV pull up at around noon, and then drive off after some thing was unloaded from the ambulance, and headed west."

"Any idea why Castle was kidnapped in the first place?"

"Beckett seems to think that our vic sent him information of some sort, and some one wants it back."

"Information? On what?"

"I'm not sure, Captain. You'll have to ask Beckett." There was a pause before Esposito stepped forward again and spoke up. "Sir, I think you should bring her back on."

"Out of the question, Detective."

"Sir, I've known Beckett a long time. She's going to investigate this case, whether she has a badge or not. The best thing to do is to bring her back, and give her the back up she needs before she finds something out before we do and gets herself killed." Gates seemed to be contemplating his request, and her hard gaze made him uneasy.

"Alright. But you're the lead detective on this, got it? You give the orders, she follows them, no exceptions."

"Thank you, sir." Esposito started to quickly make his way out of her office.

"Esposito!"

"Sir?" He leaned back in through her door way.

"I'm holding you accountable. She screws up again, it's on your head. The only reason I'm agreeing to this lunacy is so I don't have to go out there and tell that girl and her grandmother that we found the body of her father."

"Yes, sir." Espostio quickly jumped down into his chair and slid over to his phone and dialed Beckett's cell phone number.

* * *

Kate Beckett was once again left alone, after Lanie had to get back to the morgue, to re-examine the body of Micheal Smith, to see if there was any trace evidence to lead to where he was being held . That was two hours ago. The only gun she had was Castle's, and it only held five rounds. They may be hollow points, but she could be up against an army, for all she knows. She knew Martha and Alexis were at the precinct in protective custody, and the loft was empty. She hailed a cab, not trusting her self to drive, and made her way over to Castle's.

"Ms. Beckett." The door man said, "I just heard that Mr. Castle's missing."

"What? How do you know?" Kate stopped dead in her tracks. Why would the media release this information?

"Alexis came by around 1, this afternoon and I over heard her and Martha talking. What happened?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with. Just, don't tell anyone. If this hits the media, it could mean that he ends up dead. So keep your mouth closed about this." Beckett said, quickly approaching the front desk.

"Yes, ma'am." She doorman said, in a very nervous voice. "I won't tell a soul."

She walked over the elevator and made her way up to his loft. She went into his office and saw that a drawer in the cabinet behind his desk was cracked. She went over to it and saw a safe, the key pad numbers glowing red. Great, a five numb er combination, to Richard Castle's lock box, could be anything. First she tried his birthday, but it didn't work. No, that's too obvious. Then she tried Alexis' birthday, then Martha's, none of which worked. She stood up and sighed in frustration. She looked across his desk for a clue, or hint, or... something. Her gaze fell upon a small picture frame, about 8x10, sitting on the far edge . She went over and slowly picked it up.

It was a picture of them. Judging by the way both of them looked, it had been taken some time last year. She remembers this day. It was a very slow day at the precinct, with, oddly enough, no paper work to fill out, and she simply had to wait for 5 o'clock to roll around. Castle had been playing with the camera on his phone, and decided to start taking pictures. Soon, they were taking a picture of them, standing side by side, with her arm slung lazily around his shoulders, and his around her waist, with that play boy smirk. She smiled warmly at the memory, and at the sight of them together, and let a stray tear roll down her cheek. But then, something caught her attention. She looked back at the safe, and set the frame back down. She bent down again and entered one last combination. 4-1-3-1-9. With a high pitched beep, the safe opened, and she lifted the top.

She grabbed the two magazines that lay in the slots next to the empty gun shaped hole, and then picked up a small box of ammo. She tucked the magazines inside her waist band, and put the box of ammo in her jacket pocket. She quickly closed the lock box lid, and started to make her way out of the loft, but stopped at the picture frame again. She picked it up again and stared at it. She flipped it over and popped off the back and took out the picture and folded it up and placed it in the inside pocket of her jacket, and continued out the loft. Walking down the hall way, her phone vibrated in her pocket. "Beckett."

"Hey Beckett. It's Espo. Get back down here. Gates wants you back on."

"What?" She asked, rather surprised that 'Iron' Gates just went back on a direct order.

"I talked to her, she said she wants you back on this team. And so do I. So get back down here."

"Uh, alright, I'm on my way."

* * *

She exited the elevator and nervously made her way over to her desk, where her badge and gun sat in front of her key board. She clipped on her badge, but hesitated when she went to pick up her gun . She looked around to see if anyone was watching her, and threw her own gun into her drawer and hid it away. She didn't know why, maybe she was subconsciously trying to be poetic, or maybe it was just be cause a Colt felt better in her hand, she didn't know. She looked around and saw Ryan rounding the corner.

"Hey boss, good to have you back." Ryan said, holding a file in his hands.

"Hey Ryan, where are we?"

"We found the ambulance just outside a tunnel near west end, canvased to see if anyone saw anything, and found that people saw a black SUV pull up around noon, two guys transferred Castle from the ambulance over to the SUV, and drive off. But just like the ambulance, SUV didn't have any plates on it. I was just about to go down and see Lanie, see if she turned anything up on the cross examination of Smith's body."

"I'll go. I need to talk to Lanie anyway."

"Wait, Beckett, before I forget. I sent that thumb drive down to my guy at the FBI office. He said it would take a couple days to decrypt all the files on there, but he'll get it back to you as soon as possible."

"Okay, thanks a lot, Ryan." He nodded and sat down at his desk, while she made her way down to the morgue.

"Tell me you've got something for me, Lanie." Lanie looked up from her body on the slab in surprise.

"I do have a welcome back. I thought Gates sent you home."

"Just thank Esposito next time you see him. Now, tell me you have something for me."

"I was going over the body again and found something interesting. I swabbed a cut on his ankle and found trace amounts of a special type of metal used in industrial chains."

"How is that helpful?"

"Because this type of chain was discontinued in the early 90's. It contains higher amounts of lead than today's steel does."

"How does this help me find Castle?"

"There were only a few factories that used this chain back then. And surprise, surprise, they were all in west end." Beckett whipped around and ran down the hall .

"Thanks Lanie!" She shouted back.

Beckett sped back into the bull pen and over to her computer, and opened the search database, searching for factories in west end, and then entering the information Lanie had just provided. Getting a list of three addresses, she hit print and quickly walked over to the printer, and grabbed up the paper and started for the elevator, when she ran into Esposito.

"Hey Beckett. Glad to have you back." Espo said.

"Yeah, thanks Javi." She moved to make her way around him, but he stopped her.

"Wait a minute. Where are you going?"

"Run down a lead." She moved for the elevator again.

"No you're not." Espo said, as if it was a matter of fact.

"What?"

"Look, to bring you back on, Gates made me the lead on this. So, tell me exactly where your going." She handed the paper over to him and watched him speed read it. "What exactly were you going to do? Run in there alone, with out back up?" She looked down at her feet, she wasn't used to getting a 'stern talking to' by a detective whom she had trained.

"Castle's life is at stake, and every second counts. So either you're with me on this, or I do this alone."

"You think I don't know what's at stake? Castle is as much of a partner to me as Ryan is. I want him back just as much as you do. But we can't afford to screw this up by being reckless. We go in there, with back up, and a game plan, and get him out alive. Okay?" She nodded and began to slump back to her desk. She knew he was right, but he was wrong about one thing. No one wanted him back more than she did.

She sat back down at her desk and let her head fall against her hands, while Esposito sat down at his desk and picked up his phone to order a team to meet them a block away from the first address on the list. "Alright guys, let's saddle up. We got a writer to save."

Ryan and Espo jumped out of their seats, but Beckett called back to them. "I'll just be a minute guys. I'll meet you down there." She slowly got up and looked over at the break room, where she could see Martha rubbing her hand up and down Alexis' back, with Alexis slumped over with her head in her hands. She slowly opened the door and she now had the attention of both women in the room. "Is there any news?" Martha asked, jumping from her seat.

"I just wanted to let you know that we have narrowed it down, and we believe we found three possible locations as to where he is being held, and we are headed there now." Alexis stood up and walked slowly over to her. She had puffy, red eyes, and she was shaking a little.

"Please, get him back safe."

"I promise you, Alexis. I will get him back." She placed both hands on the girls shoulders.

"I just want him back. He's all we have." She let her hands fall from the girls shoulders and began to walk out. She stopped just before she exited and looked over at both of the women, now holding each other in a hug.

"He's all I have too."


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

Castle struggled to keep his cries of pain inside as his captor turned the electricity to the chair on and off, in intervals of five seconds each, only stopping for thirty seconds in between. He wasn't even asking him any questions at this point. He was just having his fun. The chair went off one last time, and Castle let out a cry of pain. In the silence of the room, Castle only heard one thing over the ringing in his ears, the soft vibration of a cell phone, then the opening of a metal door, and the slamming of the same door. Castle tried to listen to the conversation, but it was mostly muffled. The only words he was able to make out clearly, were 'positions', 'perimeter', and 'Beckett'.

The door opened again and Castle decided to take one last chance. "I've noticed you aren't asking me about the information I have anymore."

"I just figured you'd take it with you when ever I decide to kill you."

"I don't think that's it. I think, if that information was really all that important to you, then you would have asked me about my relationship with Smith, how many times I talked to him, how many times I met him. You would have asked me when he called me, or what he sent me. See, I don't think this is about the information I have, at all."

"Is that right?" The man said, coming to stand in the light, in front of him.

"You said that you needed to create a situation where you could kill her with out arousing too much suspicion, and you knew that she'd come after me. You're using me as bait." The man stayed silent. "You lure her to an old ware house. She comes bursting through the door, and they have her death written off as getting killed in the cross fire, trying to rescue a high profile target. But here's what I don't get; if you're just using me as bait, then why keep me alive?"

"Your death would cause too much attention to be drawn in the wrong direction."

"This was never about the information Smith sent me, was it?" The man stayed silent. "This was about finishing the job you started."

"The show is about to begin, Mr. Castle, and lucky for you," He moved behind his chair. Castle felt a small prick in his neck before his vision started to blur, and his head grow heavy and nod off. "you have a front row seat." Castle's body went limp. He felt the twist tie get cut, and his arms fall forward, and the chains that held his legs being dragged out from their loops. Just before he lost consciousness, he felt a kick on his side, and he was sent to the floor, before it all went black.

* * *

Kate Beckett stood in front of the car's opened truck, strapping on her vest. She had filled the magazine in the car on the way over. She was going to get him back alive. Either the two of them walked out of there, or neither of them did.

"Alright, Ryan, Beckett and I are going to hit the third address, while you guys split between the first and second." Esposito said to the gathering crowd of swat. "We don't know what we are expecting, if you see anything, call it in right away. There could be just one guy, there could be one hundred. Be advised, our first priority is Castle, not the guy who took him, understood?" With a light hum of agreement coming from everyone in the team, Esposito broke it up and sent them away, leaving Ryan and Beckett. "Alright, you guys ready?" Esposito said, checking over his assault rifle.

"Yeah." Ryan said, checking his own. When Beckett stayed silent, Espo came closer to her.

"Beckett, you can do this." She looked up at him.

"Yeah, let's go."

"Alright, I'm on point. Ryan, you head up the rear. Beckett, watch my six, got it?" She nodded. "Alright, the place we're heading into is just up the street. Let's move."

They jogged up the street, and down an ally way. Luckily, the streets had been sealed off, so there was no traffic, and this part of town was mostly abandon, leaving it eerily quiet. A call came over their radios. "This is swat 1, all clear here." The trio was moving into a side door of the warehouse they were left checking out, and moved down a dark hall way, the only light coming off of their tactical flashlights on the end of Esposito's and Ryan's assault rifle, bobbing from side to side as went.

Each door way that was cleared sent Kate's hope of finding him alive plummeting. Eventually, they made it to the main part of the ware house, a large, mostly empty space, the edges covered with broken wood palettes, and an old palette jack. The second team came in through the radio. "This is swat 2, all clear." They each stopped and shared a look of knowing. The look that sent each ones pulse up a notch, and made their adrenaline kick in, but Kate was already moving, while Ryan and Espo were still standing idle, coming to terms that they were in the warehouse Castle was most likely being held in. Kate came to a slightly ajar door, and pushed open, gun drawn.

She made her way down the dank stair well quickly and cleared the corner before rounding it, shining her flashlight down the long hall way that she was moving down. Hearing foot steps behind her, she didn't stop in her pursuit. She heard Esposito call up to her. "Beckett! What are you doing?" He asked angrily.

She came to the first door on her left, and Esposito took the right side and leaned against the wall, while Ryan took the left. Beckett took a step back and kicked hard, and sent the door flying open. Ryan and Espo quickly moved inside, assault rifles sighted, and aimed forward, with Esposito taking point, and then moving left inside, and Ryan moving right. Beckett moved forward into the small, dark room. She surveyed the room, and saw a pile of chains on a crate, along with a set of jumper cables, and a set of doctor's scrubs, and the black sheen of a body bag. "Espo, Ryan, take a look at this." She shined her flash light over to the pile of items, and they moved over to it.

"This is it alright." Ryan said, taking another quick look around the room.

"Yeah, but where's Castle?" Esposito said, doing the same thing.

"Guys, over here." Beckett called out, in a hushed tone. She moved over to the far corner of the other side of the room and called their attention to another metal door, closed shut. They assumed the same positions they had entered in, and Espo mouthed the numbers, counting down from three, and Beckett kicked the door open, having it fling open, it wasn't even latched. Espo entered left, Ryan, right, but Beckett ran straight forward after she saw the back of a man lying on his side, on the floor, in a pair of scrub pants.

Her heart soared at the sight of him, but then sunk at the actual sight of him, lying on the floor. She skidded down on her knees, the loose concrete of the floor digging into her knees as she pulled on his upper arm to have him flop down in her lap. She couldn't make out his face clearly, but when Espo shined his light over to her, she wishes she couldn't. His right eye was swollen shut, his mouth was bloody, bottom lip was cut in several places, and his right cheek had been severely bruised.

She let her tears fall freely, and began to speak to him softly, just hoping he would some how, respond. "No, no no. Please come back to me." She uttered in an increasingly watery tone. "I won't let you die on me now." She ran her hand down his left cheek and began to sob. Esposito came over and bent down and pressed two fingers to his pulse point, some what shaky, and waited a few seconds, while she heard Ryan call over his radio to swat that they had found Castle, and to get a paramedic down here, stat.

"He's got a pulse, he's alive." Espo said, coming down on one knee. She snapped her vision away from Castle face and looked over at Esposito in a state of shock.

"What?" She began to rub his cheek faster, urging him to wake up. "Castle? Can you hear me?" She asked, softly. He still didn't respond. Espo stood up and walked over to Ryan who was standing guard at the door way.

"Swats on it's way down here. And paramedics are on their way." Ryan said quietly to Esposito, whose gaze was still locked on Beckett, still cradling the limp body of their partner in her lap, and trying to caress him awake. Esposito walked over to the other side of the room, and saw the metal chair in the middle of the room, just in front of Castle, with a pair of jumper cables running from the back legs, over to a car battery by the wall, which was Jerry rigged to a light switch, to have it turn on and off with out disconnecting the cables.

"This is the same M.O. used on Smith." Espo said, placing a hand on the car battery.

"Same guy?" Ryan asked from across the room. With a series of loud cracks, coming from the hall way, they all ducked, except for Beckett, who had thrown her upper body over Castle.

"Swat, come back, what's going on?" Espo said in his radio.

"It's an ambush, sir. Several shooters, cutting off our exit point." The radio came back.

"Beckett, stay here, and watch Castle. Ryan." Espo nodded off to the side, silently telling him to follow. The quickly ran out the door, and the gun shots continued. Beckett crawled to the other side of Castle and drew her gun up again, and aimed it at the door way, still cradling him in her lap. With each shot she heard ring out, her trigger finger twitched, which only sent her focus more set upon the door way, waiting for someone to cross it.

* * *

Esposito made his way back up the stair well, toward the gun fire, and hugged the wall. Flashing back to his Special Forces training, his pulse was well under control, and he knew what he was doing. He wasn't worried about swat, they could handle them selves, and Ryan had seen his fair share of gun fights, his concern was getting Castle out of here in the same shape he is in now, not with another bullet wound in him. The gun shots continued to ring out in bursts of nine of ten. Esposito caught the sight of one gunman, holding a small sub machine gun, and firing relentlessly from behind the cover of a beam. Esposito took aim and fired, sending the gunman to the floor, but also drawing the attention of the rest of the gunman that had been firing.

He quickly ducked back down the stairs, and brought Ryan with him, and hugged the stairs, getting as much cover as they could. "Start firing, give swat a chance to flank." Espo said. They started to let loose on their triggers, firing up into the air. The shots went on for another minute, before the deeper shots of the swats rifles were heard, and then all shots stopped. "All clear." Came a call over the radio.

Esposito got up, and offered Ryan a hand off of the floor. Espo hit the button on his radio, "Where's that paramedic?"

* * *

"All clear." The radio chattered.

Beckett waited a few more seconds before she relaxed. She set the gun down next to her and looked back down at Castle. Running a hand down his face again, she stopped on his neck, and pressed two fingers to his pulse point, to feel that he was really alive for herself. Feeling a small thump beneath her finger tips, her heart was able to come up from the depths that it had been resting at for the past day. She buried her face into the crock of his neck, and pulled him up into her grasp.

"Some one call a paramedic?" She snapped her head up, and saw a man rounding the corner, and holding a small bag, dressed in an EMT uniform.

"Yeah, over here." Beckett said, calling him over.

"Alright." The paramedic came to kneel down next to Castle, and press two fingers to his pulse point. "His pulse is a bit slow, but he's alive." The man removed his fingers from Castle's neck and stopped. "What's this? Looks like he was injected with something." He called attention to the small red prick mark in Castle's neck where the needle had been.

"Any idea as to what?"

"I'm not sure, but with his pulse rate, and the way his body isn't responding to touch, it's probably a sedative of some sort, probably just a tranquilizer."

"Is he going to be alright?"

"Oh yeah, he'll be fine." The man reached into his bag and rooted around for a second. "But you won't." Before she could register the words in her brain, the barrel of a gun was pointed at her, and the muzzle flared out, and she felt pressure, enough to send her back. The man stood up calmly, and took aim again, but she was trying to wiggle her way over to where Castle's gun lay on the ground. The man standing across from them lifted the gun at her again. "This time, I won't miss."

"BECKETT!" Espo shouted from the hall way, as he sprinted down the hall way, he came to stop in the door way and lift his rifle up to the man standing across from Beckett. "Down on the ground, NOW!" The man sent cold eyes over to Esposito, but they soon glazed over as two shots rang out in the room. He let his arm fall to his side, and he collapsed to the ground.

Espo ran over to the man, sights still on him, and kicked the gun away from his hand. He looked down at Beckett who was still holding Castle's 1911 in her trembling grasp. "You alright?"

"Yeah. I.. uh... I'm fine." She said, pressing her fingers to her chest where the round had hit her vest.

"Ryan! Get in here." Ryan came running in, and over to them. "Come on, help me get Castle up, we'll take him outside. Call this in." They grabbed Castle up off of the ground, each taking one arm over their shoulders, and carried him up the stairs, Beckett following close behind. "Medic!" Espo called out as squad cars, and a swat van were seen outside the bay door of the ware house. Uniforms came running over. Castle was loaded onto a stretcher, and Beckett grabbed his hand and ran along side of him.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step away." The EMT said as he came to a stop near the back of the ambulance.

"I'm not leaving him."

"Ma'am..."

"Let her go. That man's in protective custody as of now. She rides with him." Espo said, from afar. The EMT nodded and loaded Castle into the back, with Beckett jumping up to sit next to him, his hand still in his grasp.

"What exactly happened to him?" The EMT asked her, as he went about setting up his heart rate monitor.

She looked down at his beaten and swollen face, his bare chest, stained with sweat and the dirt that clung to it, the bandage now drenched in his blood, a dark purple color showing that it was now useless, his wrists scared and cut with hard lines across the outside. "I wish I knew."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

"How you holding up, kiddo?" Martha asked her grand daughter as she came over to sit next to her on the break room couch of the 12th precinct.

"I never imagined this could happen." She said with a sniffle.

"Don't worry, your father is in capable hands. Besides, you and I both know that he is far too stubborn to leave us alone so soon." Alexis let out a chuckle wiped her cheek.

"This wasn't suppose to happen. She was suppose to protect him. How could she let this happen."

"You talk like this is her fault."

"It might as well be."

"Alexis Castle, you listen to me. I saw Kate Becket practically tare the head off of somebody three times her size this morning when she found out that your father had gone missing. I know you care deeply for your father, but you have to open your eyes and see that she does too."

Alexis sighed to herself and let her head fall forward again, hiding behind the curtain of her hair.

"Ms. Rogers, Alexis?" Captain Gates asked for their attention from the entrance of the break room. The pair looked over to her in anticipation. "They found him."

"Is he alright?" Alexis asked, cutting Gates off before she could continue.

"He's fine, a little worse for wear, but he's headed to St. Judes as we speak. I've arranged for a squad car to take you down there."

"Thank you, Captain Gates." Martha said, jumping up from her seat. Alexis whipped around and wrapper her arms around her grand mother, simply needing another persons touch.

"Come on, kiddo, let's go."

* * *

Kate Beckett was pacing back and fourth in the waiting room, still trying to wrangle in her emotions. She was ecstatic that he was back, and alive, but he had been tortured, because of her. He went to hell and back, because of her. It wasn't until she had time to hear herself think again that she had time to process everything that had happened. Coming to realize that she had shot the man that had shot her, disbelief washed over her. She still felt the hard thump that the bullet had left when it hit her vest, which she still had on. Not only had this man put a bullet through her chest and disappeared, he had kidnapped the man she loved, and beat him black and blue, chained him to a chair and hooked a car battery to it, and tortured him.

Still pacing back and forth, applying pressure to her forehead after getting another light headed feeling, her cell phone rang in her pocket. "Beckett."

"Hey, it's Ryan, we're just getting done at the scene. CSU recovered a syringe in the room where Castle was being held, and had it tested here, and found that it contained a small amount of animal tranquilizer, they can't be sure how much this guy was able to get into Castles system."

"You got a name for me?"

"No. He didn't have anything on his except a gun, and a fake EMT ID card. He's just getting sent off to the lab, hopefully they can give us something."

"Alright, thanks Ryan, is Espo around?"

"Yeah, he's just getting through with swat."

"Can you put him on real quick?"

"Esposito."

"Hey, it's Beckett."

"What's up, boss, any word on our boy?"

"No, not yet. I just wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"When you file your report of what happened, can you... uh... leave out..."

"Don't worry, Gates will never know."

"Uh, thanks Javi."

"Don't sweat it. Once me and Ryan are done here, we'll be up. Gates called a while back and said that his family is on their way, so they should be there any minute."

"Alright." She hung up with a new feeling of anxiety. She had completely forgotten about them. Alexis must be a wreck. Alexis...

She was already on loose gravel with the girl, but this... she didn't know what to expect. Either way, she braced herself when she heard the doors to the waiting room open, and two sets of foot steps click closer and closer to her.

"Kate, how is he?" Martha asked.

"There's no word yet." She said, still trying to regain control of her nerves.

"What happened?" Alexis added, with some anger tingling in her voice.

"Sit down, I have some explaining to do." They both sat down, but Beckett remained standing, and continued to pace across the linoleum. "We were called to a body drop this morning, and everything seemed normal. But Castle said that he had a lead that might help us in the case, and we went to run it down at Grand Central Station. But we ended up getting into a shoot out, and he got hit, and he was brought in with a gun shot wound. After he got out of surgery, I went back to the loft to get something for the case, and to help find his shooter after he got away, and when I came back he had gone missing." She paused to soak up the wateriness in her voice. "If I hadn't left, then he wouldn't have..." She let the sentence fall away.

"How'd you find him?" Alexis asked.

"Lanie was going over the body from this morning and we got a lead that led us to the ware house district in west end. We gathered a swat team and went after him. We found him but, the man who took him had... " She paused again, and placed a hand over her mouth and buckled over.

"Family of Richard Castle?" The doctor called out.

"Yes." Martha said, moving around Beckett to stand in front of the doctor.

"I'm Doctor Hughes, I took care of Mr. Castle this morning."

"How is he?"

"He's fine. He'll have to be kept here for a while, for observation. We still aren't sure how much voltage he received, but we can't be sure what effect it will have on him until he regains consciousness. We did need to put a few stitches in his bullet wound, after it had been torn. You can see him just as soon as we get him settled into a room, but he will be out for a while. With the sedative he received on top of the ones we used for the surgery, it's hard to say when he'll wake up."

"Wait, hold on, voltage? What the hell happened to my son?"

"Detective Beckett didn't tell you? From what I'm told, some one chained him to a metal chair that had a car battery hooked up to it. His face did take quite a beating also, but nothing that time and some pain meds won't take care of. Your son is going to be just fine. There's no need to worry." The doctor rounded the corner and back down the hall way. Martha turned to see Alexis standing behind her, with a shocked expression on her face, but Beckett was now sitting, her face buried in her hands, with her small frame jerking upwards every second or so. Martha slowly made her way over to her and sat down next to her and placed a hand on the woman's shoulder. With a light sniffle, Kate removed her hands from her face before running her palm across her cheek.

"This isn't your fault, Kate." This seemed to be Martha's mantra nowadays.

"He didn't deserve this. He was just protecting me." Kate mumbled.

"Ms. Rogers?" The nurse said from the desk. "You can see him now."

"I'd better get back to the station." Beckett said, quickly standing up and running a hand through her hair.

"Nonsense. What do you think the first words are going to be out of that big mouth of his if you're not in that room when he wakes up? Come on, he needs his family now, and you, my dear, are a part of it." She looped her arm through Kate's and dragged her down the hall way, with Alexis walking ahead of them toward the room the nurse had pointed them toward. They arrived at the door and Martha was the first to place her hand on the knob and twist. She pushed the door open and walked inside. Just before Alexis was about to walk in, Kate placed a hand on the girls arm to call her attention over to her. "Alexis, can I talk to you a minute?"

Alexis looked up at her and stayed silent. "I'm, uh... I'm sorry that I put you through this. I know you'll probably never forgive me, but..."

"You got my dad back. Right now, that's all that matters." Alexis cut her off, and walked inside. Kate took a deep breath to steady herself and made her way inside. Under the bright light of the hospital room, she could now see every detail of his face, unlike the dark warehouse basement that provided very little light. Seeing every little cut, every bruise, every little mark that he had sustained, just made her feel worse. Seeing him like this sent her heart into her stomach, and made her equilibrium go hay wire. Placing a hand on the door jam to regain her balance, she quickly stumbled over to regain her stolen breath.

"Oh my god, Dad, what happened to you?" Alexis asked her unconscious father.

"My god, who did this? I swear if I ever get my hands on him..."

"He's dead." Beckett cut in from across the room, drawing shocked stares from both Martha and Alexis.

"What?"

"You guys deserve to know the whole story. The man that kidnapped him was the same man that shot me last summer. He kidnapped Castle to try and get information out of him that this guy thought he had. When I found Castle, he came in and tried to kill me again, but I shot him before he could."

"So this is connected to your mother's case?" Martha asked.

"Yeah, I think it is." She answered, hanging her head in shame.

"I'm going to get us some coffee, why don't you come with me, dear."

"I'm not leaving him." Kate said, suddenly regaining an edge of seriousness.

"Kate, darling, you look like you could really use some."

"The last time I left him alone in a hospital bed, he was kidnapped. I'm sorry Martha, but I'm not leaving him this time." Kate said, pushing herself off of the wall and crossing her arms protectively, and pacing across to the other side of the room.

"Alright, dear. Well, I'll be back in a few minutes." Martha walked out the door to leave Alexis and Kate in a thick silence. Kate continued to pace back and fourth near the wall opposite of the bad with her arms crossed, careful to avoid direct eye contact of the girl sitting at her father's bedside.

"I guess I should thank you." Alexis spoke deeply.

"For what?" Kate asked, surprised the girl was even acknowledging her presence.

"Getting him back."

"He shouldn't have been gone in the first place."

"It still doesn't change the fact that you saved him. What happened was terrible, but if it wasn't for you, he'd probably be dead so... thank you."

"You're welcome, Alexis."

* * *

The hours went by, not slowly, nor quickly. Martha had long ago dragged Alexis away from the hospital bed, saying that she needed rest, and a hospital was no place for that, but didn't bother trying to do the same with Kate. She just continued to pace the floor in front of the foot of his bed, listening to the steady tempo of his heart monitor. She had a feeling of relief, relief that the man that shot her was finally dead, but a part of her knew that he was just another pawn, and that whom ever was behind everything, the puppet master who had an infinite number of strings to play with, would just send some one else. So, she stood guard, every once in a while, going out into the hall way, and looking up and down to see if anything was a miss. She hadn't even bothered to take off her vest, it's tight, and thick fit gave her a sense of security. She was leaning against the wall facing the closed door, with her gaze set upon the grout, when there was a soft knock. She checked her watch, and saw that it was just after mid night. She wasn't expecting any one, and it was well past visiting hours. With that in mind, she pushed herself off of the wall and pulled Castle's gun from the small of her back and assumed a shooting position, slowly making her way over to the door, sights aimed at the wood. She placed her left hand on the knob, with her right still gripping the handle of the gun, and flung the door open.

"Wow!" Cried the man as he staggered back a few steps.

"Dad?" She said, immediately lowering the gun, and replacing it in the small of her back. "What are you doing here?"

"Martha called me about an hour ago and told me what happened. She said that you were at the hospital. I was worried about you two."

"I'm fine, Dad." She said, walking to the center of the room, with Jim following her and closing the door behind him.

"How's he doing?" Jim inquired as he looked over at the beaten face of his daughters boy friend.

"He's alive. That's all I know."

"Sweetie, you look exhausted."

"I'm fine, Dad." She urged him. She was lying, but the adrenaline had yet to completely fade away, and it was enough to keep her up right for now.

"When's the last time you ate, or slept?" Jim asked, concern quickly rising in his voice.

"Dad, look at him! Look at what he's been through! How could I sleep when he's lying there like this?"

"Honey, what's really going on?" She simply crossed her arms, and put on that brave face that said to him she was burying everything, just like before. "You feel responsible, don't you? I know that look." The stoic look started to crack as her bottom lip quivered, and her eyes started to water.

"Of course I feel responsible. This is my case, look at what it did to him. Why'd they go after him?"

"Come here, sweetie." He urged her with open arms. She stumbled into his embrace and he held her there. "What's really bothering you?"

"He'll never forgive me. I put him through this. He'll hate me now."

"I love you." Said a raspy voice, barely audible, but this voice sent Kate's whole body into alert. She leaped over to Castle's bedside table and got down on her knees and took his hand in both of hers.

"Castle?" She said with an uplifting inflection. "Castle? Can you hear me?"

"Mmm, yeah. I can." Jim made his way to the other side of Castle bed and hit the small red button above his head board. "Kate?"

"I'm here, Castle. I'm right here." She said pressing the hand she held up to her cheek.

"Can I tell you something?"

"What's that?"

"I hate hospitals." He quipped before his eyes drift shut again. She laughed a watery chuckle and kissed the open palm still pressed firmly against her.

* * *

**A/N: I HATE writing hospital scenes. Mainly because I hate cliche's. And as I'm sure all of you have been before. I have been a victim of people writing hospital scenes, and every body always acts a certain way, and it's always predictable, and as im sure most of you have gathered, i always try to be as unpredictable as possible. So PLEASE let me know what you think of this chapter, because unfortunately, I have to write at least two more hospital scenes for this fic, and if i don't do the first one right, then i probably wont do the second or third one right either. So let me know by REVIEWING! Thank you all for your continued support! And chapters will start flying out since Castle isnt on for another two weeks :( **

**~Major **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This story has officially hit over 300 followers! Thank you all so much for sticking with this story! Ive always had some great ideas for stories, and I just came up with another one today at work! But I had no idea that this one would receive the response it did! Thank you all so much for reading, and reviewing, those of you who do. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

"So, Mr. Castle, you're awake I see." Doctor Hughes said over his clip board.

"Kind of, yeah." Castle said, trying to push himself into a more upright position.

"Whoa, don't move so much. We don't want that gun shot wound to tear again. Now, are your muscles sore at all?"

"Yeah, actually, everything feels heavy."

"That's normal. With the electricity flowing through you, your muscles convulsed, and flexed for too long periods of time. You're going to be sore for a while, so I wouldn't suggest working out, or any strenuous activity for at least a couple of weeks."

Castle looked up to Beckett, whom was still standing at his bed side, arms crossed, her vest still on. "Sorry." She rolled her eyes, and scoffed, but it failed to hide her smile.

"Now, we're going to have to keep you for a while, run a few more tests, blood work, respiratory check, all that. You should be out in a couple of days though. In the mean time, take it easy, you've had it pretty rough the last 24 hours."

"You got it, Doc." Castle said with a smile as the doctor walked out.

_Finally alone, _he thought to himself. With visitors in and out through out the early morning since he woke up, the only constant being the woman he'd rather not have leave, they both felt a sense of relief to have at least a few minutes to themselves. Castle knew that this moment of blissful privacy was going to be short lived, as his mother and Alexis had simply stepped out to fetch the two of them some suitable, and eatable breakfast, and would be back in close to twenty minutes. He was finally able to relax his shoulders, feeling like no one was watching him, telling him what he can and can't do in his condition. He lifted his eyes to his partner who was returning the favor of his gaze. "So..."

"So?"

"I think you can relax now. You've been standing since I woke up, and you still haven't taken off your vest. Might I add that you haven't eaten anything since that candy bar your dad brought with him, which was over five hours ago."

"I'll be fine, Castle. You shouldn't worry about me, though. You've been through hell."

"That may be, but that still doesn't mean that you have to put yourself through it too." She uncrossed her arms and sighed a familiar sigh of defeat. She reached over her midsection and ripped the Velcro from it's place, her chest finally able to expand fully. She drew the vest over her head, and placed it on the seat next to his bed that she told him she would use eventually. "Kate, what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"What happened to you?" He asked again, concern quickly rising in his voice.

"What are you talking about, Castle?" She followed his eye sight, glued onto her chest, not in the usual flattery fashion, given away by the disheartening furrow of his brow. She looked between the v of her T-shirt and rose her fingers up to trace the darkened skin that lay about an inch across. "Oh, I didn't even notice." She played it off lightly.

"Don't tell me you were shot." She sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand in hers.

"You're safe, that's all that matters now." She said in a soft tone, hoping that he would understand, but she was taking a long shot.

"Listen, why don't you head home? You look like you could use a good nights sleep."

"I'm not leaving, Castle." Her tone quickly turned from soft and loving, to deep, hard, and commanding. "The last time I left you alone in a hospital, you were kidnapped, chained to a chair and tortured, and I will not let that happen again."

"Kate, the guy is dead, what are the odds?" He tried to argue, but his hopes of having her take a little care of herself were quickly fading.

"You and I both know that he was just a pawn. They will send some one else for you, Castle. I'm staying here, and that's final."

"Kate..."

"No, Castle. I won't put you through it again. I lost you once already, I'm not going to lose you again!" Her voice had quickly become soiled with unshed tears that she was forcing back.

"Hey, it's over now." He ushered her over to him, lifting up his arms to invite her in. She hesitated, only for a second, before she sat down at the edge of his bed again, close enough for him to wrap his arms awkwardly around her, with her returning the gesture by placing her own on his shoulders, and burying her face into the bend that his neck was creating. "I'm right here, it's alright." He soothed her. He had done this before with his daughter, but it was different, much different. The last time he did this was when she was ten, and she got her first F on a math test. But this... this was some one's life at stake here. It had taken a large toll on both of them, but he had come to terms with it, for now. He knew he had to be the strong one now. She was always the one having to put on a brave face, and stare down the darkness, often times by diving into it head first. But now, now she had some one to help her push it all back, she had some one there to help her up when she started to fall. He felt her body start to quake with sobs that she was trying to keep contained, and he felt as if his hand that he had been using to rub her back had been in vain. But after a minute or two, she started to quiet down, and her breathing started to even out. "Hey." He urged her back with a soft push on her arms. She looked back at him with puffy, red eyes, and by the look on her face, he knew that right now, she didn't have any restraints put up, no walls to hide behind, no shells left to break. "You're not alone. I'm always going to be here."

She smiled warmly at him and replaced her head on his shoulder. "Come on, lay down." He slowly scooted over to make room for her on the small hospital bed, careful to not make any of his injuries spark out and cause him to wince, because he knew if he did, she would back away. He opened up his side to her and she crawled into it, and placed her head on his shoulders. When she was comfortably tucked into his side, she let her heavy eye lids drift shut.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" She asked in a sleepy voice that made a smile manifest on his face.

"Always." He planted a soft kiss into her hair. "I promise, when you wake up, you will be in a better place, and a better time." She shifted deeper into his embrace, and tightened her grip on his low mid section.

She let out a small hum of bliss before she spoke one last word. "Tighter." He smiled warmly at her sleepy request, which was probably leaked out subconsciously, and tightened his embrace around her. After only a minute or two, her breaths were slow, and steady, and her head lay heavy against his shoulder. He couldn't imagine what she had been through, but she would tell him when she was ready. He just hoped that when she was ready, so was he.

"Richard, dear, we got you some..."

"SHHHH!" He put a finger up to his lips and shushed the pair walking in with a bag of food. He pointed over to his side that cradled Beckett, and Martha quietly tip-toed in and set the bag gently on the floor next to the bed. Alexis poked her head in and stared awkwardly at the couple on the bed, before quietly making her way over to his bed side and placing the two cups of coffee down on the bed side table. He mouthed a thank you, and Alexis made her way over to the other side of the room with her grandmother.

"It's about time she got some rest." Martha spoke in a loud whisper, loud enough to where whispering was pointless, but by the way Beckett didn't even flinch, she was out cold.

"Yeah, she's been through a lot." He said, looking down at her.

"That girl, I swear." Martha trailed off. "If she wasn't head over heels for you, I would call her crazy. But she is truly something special, darling."

"Yeah, she really is." His warm gaze still was fixed on her content expression, as her breath tickled his chest beneath the thin fabric of the medical gown he was wearing.

"Hey Dad, I'm going back home real quick. Is there anything you want me to pick up while I'm there?" Alexis said, making herself known.

"Actually, could you just get me a pad of paper and a pen?"

"Want me to just grab your laptop?"

"No, that's alright. Just a pad of paper and a pen." She made her way back over to him and kissed his forehead. "Thank you, sweetie."

"I'll be back soon. You better be here when I get back."

"I don't think I'm going anywhere." He nodded his head over to the weight that lay sleeping on his chest. Alexis slowly made her way out of the room, quietly clicking the door shut.

"You know, dear, you had us pretty worried there. If it wasn't for her," Martha nodded over to Beckett, and let the sentence fall flat before she placed a hand over her mouth. Regaining her composure as best she could, "She's one of a kind, kiddo." Castle simply let the smile on his face grow a little and replaced his head on top of hers.

"Excuse me?" Came a deep voice from the door way. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Can I help you?" Castle said to the man dressed in a plain black suit.

"Yeah, I'm special agent Sheppard with the FBI, detective Ryan told me I could find you here." Agent Sheppard came to stand in the door way, holding a case file, and a small evidence bag in his hands.

"How can I help you Agent Sheppard?"

"This was sent to my office by Detective Ryan. He told me to decrypt it for him."

"How do you know Ryan?"

"We were on a narcotics bust together a while back. He went to homicide, and I went to the FBI. I'm here because of the files I came across. I would have reported it to my superior but I was told to keep it quiet." Sheppard came to stand by his bed side. He looked down at the woman resting blissfully, cuddled in Castle's side. "I can come back if you want. I realize this might not be the best time, considering the circumstances."

Castle looked over to his mother, who was observing silently, and back at Beckett, making sure she was still asleep. "That would probably be best. How bout you just give your findings to Ryan, and he can fill us in later in the day."

"Okay, I'll have Ryan stop by later in the day then. Feel better, Mr. Castle." Agent Sheppard walked calmly out of the room and closed the door behind him. This certainly had peeked Castle's troublesome curiosity, but right now, the most important thing was lying by his side, enjoying a well deserved rest, and he was not about to disturb her with this again. It was time they put this behind them, and got on with their lives, together.

* * *

"This the guy that hired you?" Esposito asked his suspect from across the interrogation room table, before sliding the picture of the man killed in the warehouse over to him. He stayed silent, maintaining a stoic look as he stared at the photo of the man lying on a damp floor, with glassy eyes, and two holes in his chest. "Come on, David. If this is the guy you're so afraid of, he's dead. So just give me his name, and the DA is willing to adjust the charges down to accessory to kidnapping. Looks a hell of a lot better than murder one to me."

"Forget it."

"You do realize that if we can't ID this guy, then this still goes on your head, and you get put away for life. And if I know the DA well enough, he's going to try and push for the death penalty." Blackevitch stayed silent and looked away. "Fine, life it is." Esposito gathered up his files and started for the door.

"I want protection." Esposito quickly turned around in surprise.

"What?"

"If I give you this guys name, I want protection."

"Alright, give me the guys name, and I'll put in a good word."

"No, see, that's not how it works. It's give and take, not take and give. You get me in protective custody, and once I have it in writing, I give you the name." Blackevitch slumped back in his chair and tilted his chin up in confidence. Esposito strode out of interrogation and into Captain Gates office.

"What is it now, Detective?"

"I've got Blackevitch in interrogation, and he wants protection in exchange for the name of the guy who took Castle."

"The man is dead, Detective, why should it matter?" The captain deadpanned.

"Sir, we have reason to believe that this guy is the same guy who shot Beckett last year. We are still waiting on the DNA test to confirm, but we're certain it's him."

"So why is this guy's name so important all of the sudden?"

"Sir, we get this guys name, we may get a lead as to who hired him." Gates let out a long sigh and stared the detective down.

"This is a long shot, you realize that, don't you, Detective?"

"It's one I'm willing to take, sir."

"Alright," Gates picked up her phone. "Tell Blackevitch he got his protection, I'll talk to the DA. Get me a name, Esposito." Esposito quickly nodded and made his way back into interrogation, where Blackevitch was in the same position he was left in.

"Alright, start talking." Espo walked to the front of the table, and stopped dead in his tracks. "I need some help in here!" Espo quickly drew his gun and ran out into the hall way.

"What is it?" Ryan came running up, just about to draw his own gun.

"Lock this place down, Blackevitch has just been shot."

* * *

**A/N: For those fellow browncoats out there: Yes, I was thinking of Sheppard Booke for the FBI agent :) **

**I am hoping to get Castle and Beckett out of the hospital soon. It took me a long time to get the conversation right. Everything else I wrote didn't really fit right. So, I hope this works for you guys. Please let me know by REVIEWING :D **

**~Major. **


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